I think I stay awake at night because that’s when people are less likely to see me.
Sometimes, I fantasize about wearing a mask. Unfortunately, a mask would make me more seen than unseen. So instead of a mask, the night becomes my mask.
And I leave my house under the cloak of darkness, getting all my shit done when the streets are emptier. I can walk around, get some exercise, grab a slice of pizza, hang around the park. I swear I’m not a vampire, a werewolf, or some ne’er-do-well. I’m just a guy who finds people overwhelming. And I’m terrified.
Terrified I might say or do the wrong thing, that someone will fly off the handle because I looked at them the wrong way. So I do my thing when people aren’t around. And when they are, I put on a performance—a rehearsed script, something to say, so I can keep moving and they can be on their way. So they never know I’m an alien in human flesh, a creature walking on two legs.
And I know what you’re thinking. I’m a danger. Because I’m a big, bad man, skulking through the streets, wearing a hoodie to keep my head warm.
But I’m telling you now—I’m here outside, alone in the thick of night, when everybody else has gone to sleep. I’m here beyond dusk because I, too, am scared. And I wear these shadows like a security blanket.
Photo credit: artist unknown
