STRIKE THE EARTH!!
this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2023
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Asklemmy
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DEFINITION: 'LOVE' IS MAKING A SHOT TO THE KNEES OF A TARGET 120 KILOMETERS AWAY USING AN ARATECH SNIPER RIFLE WITH A TRI-LIGHT SCOPE. LOVE IS KNOWING YOUR TARGET, PUTTING THEM IN YOUR TARGETING RETICULE, AND TOGETHER, ACHIEVING A SINGULAR PURPOSE AGAINST STATISTICALLY LONG ODDS.
DOOR STUCK!
I HAVE NOT. COME THIS FAR.. TO DIE NOW!
NO. "VAMP" ISN'T FOR "VAMPIRE", IT'S BECAUSE HE'S BISEXUAL.
RAMIREZ! LAST MAG! MAKE IT COUNT!
ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL?
I GAZE INTO THE MIRROR. IN ITS REFLECTION, I SEE ONLY MY OWN MEANINGLESSNESS. AND SO I SCREAM.
"PLEASE ASSUME THE POSITION"
THE RAINS HAVE CEASED AND WE ARE GRACED WITH ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY. BUT YOU ARE NOT HERE TO SEE IT.
REMEMBER US! REMEMBER THAT WE ONCE LIVED!
COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE.
YOU'VE GONE...YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME, YOU CAMEL-MANNERED, TUNIC-WETTING MOLLYCODDLE! AN ARROW IN THE THROAT OUGHT TO SHUT YOU UP!
YMMEL!?
HOLY SHITBALLS BLESS THIS RAGGED BODY
TASTE COLD STEEL, FEEBLE CANNON RESTRAINT ROPE!
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BAD TIME
EXPLOSIONS! ๐ฅ
PICK UP THAT CAN. (all caps seems appropriate here)
SHAKE IT, BABY!
YOU ARE ALL WEAK, YOU ARE ALL BLEEDERS!
SURRENDER TO THIS PEAR.
SHAKE IT BABY ๐ต๐ต๐
YOU HEAR THAT NOAH? LANZ WANTS SOMETHING MEATIER!
MAY CHAOS TAKE THE WORLD!
I GOT A PRESENT FOR YA
YOU ARE NOT PREPARED!
GIVE ME A BUCKET, AND I'LL SHOW YOU A BUCKET
DID I EVER TELL YOU WHAT THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY IS ?
AAAH, NOT INTO THE FOG!
BOLEK, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND?
WE ARE SO CLOSE TO OUR DESTINATION, WE ARE SO CLOSE! LIKE, LITERALLY, RIGHT THERE! AND THEN YOU JUST DECIDE, LIKE A SADISTIC PERSON, TO TURN INTO THE FOG AND KILL US! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU ARE A SADIST! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM! THAT'S IT! CALL MY AGENT! I WANT MY AGENT!
SO MUCH TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME.
TAKE YOIR TIME, DON'T BE AFRAID.
THE DOOR IS STILL SHUT.
KIROV REPORTING!!!!
HOW I MINE FOR FISH?
YOU'RE NOT WHAT I EXPECTED! YOU'VE EARNED MY TRUST!
SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT CAN CHANGE THE NATURE OF A MAN?
DA MORE DA MONKEY CLIMB DA TREE DA MORE IT EXPOSES IT'S BATTYHOLE
I HAVE A DATE WITH A CHEESE DELUXE ๐