this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2023
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 82 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

I'm struggling to think of any situation where a 2yo would come in contact with a hippopotamus that doesn't involve criminal levels of negligence.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 2 years ago

you can't keep track of where every hippopotamus is all the time. sometimes you're just going about your day and there one is, swallowing your kid.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

He was just playing by himself near his home. And his home was near a lake in Uganda . https://nypost.com/2022/12/15/hippo-swallows-spits-out-2-year-old-boy-in-uganda/

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 years ago

I'm not sure I'd let my kid play outside unsupervised if my yard was occasionally visited by hippos.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 years ago (2 children)

OPs mom swallows billions of -9 months old children.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

To be fair, your mom does the same

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago

I have no idea what my parents are up to in the bedroom but I hope they're having fun.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Lmao, she forgot to come up for air.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

She choked on a 2 year old

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

No, she actually died in a car crash

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

Damn. Hope it was quick and painless :( Mine got cancer.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago

skill issue

[–] [email protected] -1 points 2 years ago

That sucked.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 years ago

Talk about a high constitution and charisma score

Gets eaten

Rolls con save

Critical success

"It would appear as if you ate me, spit me out or I'll unleash my true power"

Rolls bluff

Critical success

"So sorry for the inconvenience, you have a wonderful day."

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago

shouldn't name your kid Jonah

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

What did the kid do to look so delicious?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

Oh no, did they kill the hippo? If they did, this Harambe 2 would completely seal the fate of humanity.