Conservatism
What good has it fucking done us
this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2025
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Our modern day concept of ownership.
Money. It's just a mechanism of control because those with the power to share never learned to do so. They're the kids at the playground hogging the swing set while everyone else is getting wood chips kicked in their face. Humanity in a nutshell.
Maybe not humorous, but I hope it paints a picture.
Okay, humorously...
Eating pizza with a fork. If you're afraid of hot grease burning a trail down your arm, you don't deserve to enjoy good pizza.
Reasonable exceptions for children and the disabled can be made.
But if you put ranch on it you should be thrown in Guantanamo Bay.
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(2 replies)
The now ultra-common usage of "whenever", when they actually mean "when".
I can't fucking stand it. But it's everywhere now. I have no idea how it got so common but I'm surrounded by people who use it incorrectly.
I wonder if I’m using it incorrectly now.
We can go to the cinema whenever you like.
That is how I would use it. And I would use when like, when did you go to the cinema?
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(4 replies)
Pineapple. Not just on pizza (although that is an abomination), but all pineapple in food or drinks. It's weird and slimy and its taste taints everything it touches. Plus fresh pineapple is trying to digest you while you eat it. Just a horrible fruit all around.
I will not be swayed by counter arguments.
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(8 replies)
First, I'll abolish your milk
Then, I shall abolish your VIRGINITY
Green bell peppers. I hate the way they taste. Had someone tell me they don’t taste like anything. Ok then why even bother if there’s no taste?
Green bell peppers have a distinct taste. They also mature into other colors of pepper so your request is denied.
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(1 replies)
it would be nice if the current president's life were (humorously) abolished
Humorous or not, when that floating turd finally swirls down the hole, I'm buying a big-ass flag pole specifically so I can fly it at full mast.