Shitposts processed from 9 to 5, with occasional overtime on weekends.
Rule 1: Be Civil, Not Sinister
Treat others like fellow employees, not enemies in the breakroom.
Rule 2: No Prohibited Postage
Some packages are simply undeliverable. That means:
If you see anything that violates these rules, please report it so we can return it to sender. Otherwise? Have fun, be silly, and enjoy the chaos. The office runs best when everyone’s laughing.... or retching over the stench, at least.
And, it totally won't stream everything to Elon's personal data center where only he, every employee, and every billionaire, and any script kiddie hacker, have complete access to everything every robot records.
"Another service I can provide is to observe your family's urination process and analyze your feces for potential issues. I'll follow you to the restroom now. This is a free service, included in the monthly subscription fee. If you spread your knees a bit, I can use my fingertip camera."
Or “accidentally” kill you in your sleep for making a post disparaging herr leader.
or rape you in your sleep while streaming it live on X
If you don't have your own sleep paralysis demon, store bought is fine
I couldn't afford name brand, is off brand ok?
There is no way on I would trust anything that asshat musk produces.
they could literally fall over and kill you, they’re heavy as fuck
People need to go watch or rewatch "The Second Renaissance" from the Animatrix.
(Uh, NSFW gore warning)
Then at 7 am it will wake you up with a Musk’s Sieg Heil salute accompanied by some nazi song.
No handjob no purchase.
Guess my £150 tracker watch isn't necessary anymore /s
*and send all those data to D'Ellon