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The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/sex-etiquette on 2023-10-02 22:20:16.
I’m not talking about an ongoing medical dysfunction, more like when a person is a bit too much in their head, or overly stressed, or tired, and randomly one night can’t get hard, or in the case of a lady, when she’s not getting very wet, or is struggling to cum.
In my mind, these incidents are all equivalent. It’s just the sexual organ failing to do the thing we want it to do during sex. Happens sometimes.
But in the case of a lady not getting wet or not being able to cum, we kind of wave it away or work around it (lube). But when a guy can’t get hard it’s always a bit more of a thing. Like either the lady needs to be assured that it’s not her. Or the guy needs to be assured that it’s okay. We see it as an emasculating thing. Like the guy failed.
No one ever talks about the lady failing at sex because on a given night she didn’t get wet or didn’t cum. So why is a guy not getting hard associated with a failure to perform, rather than a minor inconvenience?