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The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/CapnJackSparrow6 on 2023-10-03 19:59:51.
Me (M24) and my gf (F22) had sex this morning and were under the impression that we had the house to ourselves (a rare opportunity, might I add).
So of course we got busy. I was performing like Shaq in his prime, we were loud as fuck - absolutely no filter. Picture a big guy running in flip flops. Just firing on all cylinders; after all, nobody was home.
And then we finish and I go to use the washroom just to discover my grandma in the living room folding laundry.
I am not a suicidal person by any means, but man I would not mind if someone shot me in the back of the head right now. I am so fucking embarrassed I feel like throwing up. Why did it have to be my grandma of all people?!
Someone please help me get over this.