Maybe we should have one like that here for specifically queer related and queer friendly groups, since exposure on this instance would greatly help those groups out.
Well it's not like this community is a private community only for asexual people, it is an asexual space for ace people, but it's also largely public and anyone can come here and see these posts.
That said I probably should post this elsewhere so other people can see it better (also will help more people find this community).
Ah I understand what you were saying now, I wasn't sure exactly and it reminded me of the "Agender Pronouns" thing, glad you didn't mean it that way though.
There are other problems I've had with Hexbear, I've actually been threatened and harassed by several users on that platform, I've also gotten some bad vibes in a few communities there that didn't really make me feel welcome, as a GNC person or as an Agender person. It's hard to describe, it just didn't quite feel right.
But yeah I do hope the user flairs get added to Lemmy at some point, it would be nice to have some of the helpful features from Reddit, like User flairs, and either post flairs or post tags (post tags are probably better since they can federate as hashtags).
Yeah the big issue with Hexbear's way of doing it is that it's kind of forced and can cause discomfort to people who don't want to out themselves yet. I wasn't aware they have undecided or any as options, I've never tried to sign up there and have little desire to considering among other things how isolated it is. Even so I don't think their way of doing it is very good since it heavily limits the options people can use, and locks people out of using display names, which are extremely useful. I think a better solution would just be to increase the length of usernames and display names to accommodate users who might want to use pronouns.
Also just want to point out, it does annoy me a bit when people say Agender pronouns, since Agender people don't have a universal set of pronouns. We all have very widely varied preferences and experiences among us. I don't blame you for that by the way, it's a common misconception about Agender and Nonbinary people.
I'm not a fan of forced pronoun badges as an Agender person. Allowing people to have pronoun badges is good but only if it is optional. When it isn't it creates a dilemma where a person has to choose between outing themself, or lying if they don't want to out themselves.
As it is though, their implementation of it simply uses (or rather commandeers) the display-name feature Lemmy has, so in a way we already do have an optional implementation of it for people who want it. It's just not mandated. The way they did it was to replace display names with Pronoun tags and have them be mandatory.
I will share that dragonfucker has significantly harassed me and sent death threats toward my way, it was through an alt account so I guess one could say that it could've not been drag, but the circumstances surrounding it were suspicious enough that I'm almost certain that this alt was the same person/dragon as dragonfucker. The community that was created to harass and target me [email protected] along with the alt is gone but since I was pinged on every account and I have email notifications enabled I still do have all the messages I received, as well as screenshots of DMs from the user account, none of them are pretty.
I'm not a fan of gatekeeping people's identities and I REALLY don't think we should do that. I do think we should understand the kind of person drag is though, and acknowledge that these types of things like the death threats, the harassment, and encouragement of suicide have no place here, in a safe space no less.
I think drag is talking about using the API or network tab in browser to create bans when a person hasn't posted in a community before, as far as I know there's no way to create fake modlog entries, other than doctoring screenshots of the modlog (something you'll be busted on very quickly) or possibly by screwing with the database as an admin (something that you'll also be busted on since it won't federate).
Comment removals can't be faked or screwed with unless doctored, because the comments removed must actually exist to appear in the log.
My issues with dragonfucker are to do with the fact that drag decided to make an alt account and proceed to spam me with insults, porn, and even death threats. Creating a community to harass me publicly and pinging me on every fediverse account I owned.
I know I couldn't actually prove it was drag who did it, Lemmy has awful tools to identify users, and drag denies all accountability, but the circumstances of it were so suspicious that I'd be willing to bet money that dragonfucker was the person behind it, or someone close with drag.
I'm not going to lie when I got the ping under the post asking for admins to help track me down so I could be tortured and killed I did get very scared that someone would show up at my home and I did actually contact the police about it. Though ultimately nothing came of the investigation.
It makes me very sad and also afraid that no one is addressing the real issues, instead choosing to complain about pronouns and debate the validity of other people's genders. Which as an Agender person also makes me feel sad and also kind of unsafe.
I think this page gives some good info on Neopronouns for those who might not be entirely in the know about them.
I'm in agreement with this, but I think people should complain about the trolling behavior and the abusive behavior, and not about the pronouns, because the trolling and abusive behavior is the real problem. Not people using different pronouns or having non-standard identities.
How so? They seem like a nice person, what is it about @[email protected] that people have such a problem with? I can agree that the article isn't perfect but I see people acting like They are some kind of horrible person or something.
I recently created a version of the Aspec flag but with the Agender colors in the middle star. I did this because I wanted a flag that represents those of us who are both on the aromantic/asexual spectrum as well as those of us on the agender spectrum. I think there are many of us who relate to many parts of both the aroace and also Agender experiences so I wanted to create a flag that represents being part of both AroAce and Agender spectrums.
Please let me know what you all think about this design, as well as ways it could be improved while still keeping the feel or the original a-spec flag.
Hello and welcome to our community. This post is mainly to help explain things to people who first come across this community.
What is Agender?
Agender is a gender identity in which people feel very little or lack of any gender identity. The term Agender comes from the greek prefix A- meaning without and gender.
Some Agender people may feel no gender, while others may feel a weaker sense of gender, and others still may feel a strong sense of connection to being Agender. It is very much a spectrum. I created a chart to better help visualize it:
What is Gender modality, I saw it mentioned in the sidebar, so what is it?
Gender modality is complicated, and there's a bit of disagreement on what it is or isn't in the community, as well as whether or not gender modalities are valid.
The most common definition and the definition you'll see when you look up gender modality is:
Gender Modality refers to the correspondence (or lack thereof) between one's assigned gender at birth and one's actual gender and/or gender presentation.
- Gender Modality, on Gender Fandom
I don't disagree with that definition but it feels lacking. I think a good way to explain it that compliments the previous way is that modalities are like groups that can contain other gender identities. Like how on Lemmy there are communities contained in instances. Yeah I know a lot of people will hate that analogy but I think it works. It can be a bit confusing but in general it's just best to respect the way a person identifies, even if it's one of the non-standard gender modalities.
Wait I thought that people were either cis or trans?
Yeah this is where a lot of the disagreement comes in around gender modality. There are some people who do believe that. While others believe that there are multiple gender modalities besides just the two. We here believe that the way a person identifies should be respected and not invalidated, and that means if they identify under one of these other gender modalities it needs to be respected.
What about if someone is in-denial about being trans?
Here we believe that self-discovery is a very important and personal process that should not be ham-fisted like it has been in the past on... certain user forums (egg_irl) this doesn't mean one can't help or support people, that's always encouraged, but they have to want the support. If it is forced or coercive it is not respectful and can even be harmful. Do not try and force people to identify a certain way against their will (This falls under Rule 2).
About the community
This next section addresses various questions about the community, this part is a bit more meta.
Why create this community?
I created this community because one of the communities I noticed that was lacking on Lemmy was an Agender one, there were plenty of Nonbinary ones but not a single Agender one or even aspec one. So I decided to create this one in hopes that it would allow Agender people to feel more at home in the Fediverse.
Why did you choose this instance?
We wanted to choose an instance which has downvotes disabled due to the fact that trolls and bigots very often attack queer people by mass downvoting their posts to supress them and their content. We want to avoid this type of abuse. We originally chose Reddthat for this purpose because it fits that criteria while also being very stable, however we decided to abandon it due to their lack of agency around the threads federation issue, this is especially problematic due to the fact that threads has a severe queerphobia problem. So we moved to lemmy.blahaj.zone as it is our only real option.
~~#### Why didn't you just choose blahaj.zone?~~
~~In the beginning we did consider it but in the end I ended up choosing this instance for a variety of reasons. One reason was when I initially planned this out lemmy.blahaj.zone was having frequent outages and pictrs (image server) issues. So for that reason I went with the next best one Reddthat.com. I may revisit that idea in the future but as is I'll stick with what I've already got set up and go from there.~~ We have migrated our community to blahaj.zone due to concerns regarding Reddthat's lack of agency around threads federation.
If you have any more questions or feedback you'd like to give me just leave a comment below and I'll get back to you. If you want you could also post in our Matrix Discussion Channel.
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Is this similar to Therians or otherkin, where people feel like they identify more with an animal or mythical creature? I mean I've heard some therians or otherkins do experience species dysphoria, so is that similar?