ncc21166

joined 4 days ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 minutes ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 hours ago (2 children)

Well, I finally came out to my spouse after a decade feeling trapped. The support I received was more than I could have ever hoped for from them! And this community seems pretty fantastic. So for once in what feels like forever, this one was a good week. There's always hope and someone who will love you for who you are. You just have to find them! ;{

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Thank you immensely for doing what you do, and for persevering through the difficult parts while doing it. You're exactly the kind of hero we need more of. I'm sorry there are still so many terrible people.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

As a fellow cat-holder while your spouse trims their claws, Glory to you and your House!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago (2 children)

You're the second person to recommend them, so I'll definitely consider them if I can't find a local provider. I was just hoping to find a practitioner who knew the area and would be able to also recommend places for other services I (or my spouse! They're part of this journey, too) may need down the line.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Heh, I don't sleep well. Too many worries and mental battles over dysphoria vs. being out. And I feel like I'm still stuck in that rift. The username felt appropriate, since Miranda is on my shortlist for possible names, too!

Alma

I hadn't looked at that yet. Thank you for pointing it out!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

Yes, sort of. In this area it's Horizon. FEP seems to just be a branch of whatever the regional blue cross and/or blue shield is. I have been using their "Find a Doctor" tool to tell who's in-network after finding people on the lists like pridecenter.org or outcare or WPATH, but so far nobody's been covered.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

insurance requires a letter from someone actively prescribing and monitoring the progress of HRT for 12 or more months consecutively to cover any of those services

That's precisely why I wanted to find a doctor do to this with. I've already missed too much with the wrong outside.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I'm in NJ, but not the progressive part of it. I guess Philly would be my closest friendly place to find anyone, and I definitely hear you about the "going official" issues in the US right now. It's one of the reasons I'm so frightened of telling the wrong people.

I don't know if I like the idea of DIY. I believe that it works, but I also know that I'm clumsy and forgetful enough to do something wrong. I also really need to talk to a therapist because I will definitely want my letters for surgery someday.

Folkx or Galileo

This is the first I've seen of either of these, so thank you! I'll have a look!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

This is fantastic advice, and I'm glad to know I'm not alone. It's honestly been quite difficult and frightening to try navigating this. I also feel like I was putting too much weight on my spouse to help me and that's not fair to them.

I realize I have to tell my PCP eventually. My last one I'd have told in a heartbeat, but the good ones get promoted out of my area because the backwoods aren't a priority. The new one is quite clinical and has his degree from a highly conservative/evangelical area and frankly scares me. I'll be looking anyway, I guess.

My "local" communities are all a little over an hour from me, from what I can tell. I'll try to find a way to get in touch with some of them in the meantime.

Thank you very much for sharing!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Thank you for the advice! I'm on a weirdly hepful but also restrictive FEP Blue program. They cover basically nobody around me. P.S. I like your username!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

Of course there's a github-awesome list for us. I definitely should have looked for that earlier!

 

New to the community, but lurking for ever and stuck inside my egg for the past decade. I finally hit the wall where I was either going to come out or break down. So far, I'm super lucky to have a fantastic and understanding spouse who has my back, but that's literally the extent of my support network. I've always been pretty shy and impersonal, so I have a very tiny friend group. That said, I'm over 40 and can't wait to transition any longer. I just can't seem to find any physicians in my area that I don't think will either deny me care or treat me like I'm a liar. I'm fine with going straight to an endochrinoligist and signing an informed consent, but I really think I should see a therapist or counselor about some things I've been struggling with. I'm just having a difficult time of knowing who I can and can't trust, and I don't really have anyone around to ask. The only out transfem I know is a professional acquaintance and I'm way too scared to out myself to her yet. I've gone through most of the publicly available lists and tools for finding practitioners but they either don't take my insurance or don't cover my area. Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this? I want to get started so badly because I feel like I already missed out on so much of life as my true self, but the roadblock now seems to be that I can't even trust my family physician to know who I really am.

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