I read over it again just now. I don't know wtf I was talking about.. disregard that criticism. I was just searching for something productive to feedback, I guess. I think I'm just getting a general feel of disorganization that I can't quite put my finger on. Perhaps you've been editing since I last read, and that is why I no longer feel that way?
BTW, do you follow Michael Bazzell's work? He's got several books that are very informative. It seems you may have read them or at least heard his podcast. If not, you're in for a treat.
Does DuoLingo teach that? I need to brush up.