Am I the Asshole?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/WikidStep on 2024-01-21 19:25:23+00:00.

A few years ago I met my dad for the first time. My mother had given me up for adoption, so he didn’t know about me until the magic of DNA tests connected us. Since we connected, we have been building a relationship, with mutual visits and occasional phone calls. (We live on opposite sides of the country.)

He got divorced a few years ago and since then has been dating “Liz”. Liz is significantly younger than he is, and is an extrovert with a big personality. She was widowed a few years ago and she and my dad (who had known each other for years) started dating shortly thereafter.

My dad recently retired and bought a condo in Florida. He suggested coming to my house for Christmas and then the two of us roadtripping across the country to his condo as a fun father-child bonding experience. I agreed that it sounded fun, and so we spent late December and early January adventuring together.

In the course of our discussions, he told me that Liz had done a number of things which make me concerned for him. For instance, she decided she wanted him to move in with her, so she sent him to see one of his other children for a week and while he was gone she went to his house, gave away most of his possesssions, and moved some of her friends into his house. He was very upset, but she told him he was being irrational and needed to move on. When he decided to buy his condo in Florida, she told him that she would be in charge of decorating it, then proceeded to insist on choices of furniture and dishes which are deeply impractical for day-to-day use — for instance, insisting that the only dishes be his grandmother’s china set, none of which is dishwashable, and which contains so many place settings it completely filled the kitchen cupboards leaving almost no room for food. Whenever he tries to assert his preferences or tastes or the need for practicality, she gets upset and gives him ultimatums.

Over the course of the time we spent together, he talked through all of this with me and was clearly upset by it.

I finally told him that it seemed like many of the dynamics in their relationship aren’t very healthy, and that he needed to be willing to set boundaries that gave him some control over his own life and choices. We subsequently purchased a few needed practical things for the condo without Liz’s blessing, about which she is now irate.

In my subsequent conversations with my father, it seems increasingly likely their relationship is going to end.

Liz told him I’m being TA because she’s known him longer than me (true) and she spends more time with him (also true) and that I’m just stirring up trouble I don’t have to face the consequences for.

AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/sourlemon59 on 2024-01-19 11:29:15+00:00.

Disclaimer before you read: I love my best friend (Ashley) and i would do a lot for her and to see her happy. We have been friends for about 4 years now and close throughout with no major arguments just a handful (like 5 if that) of annoyances if that makes sense. I can just describe it as a married couple bickering lol. Also i have the brain of an overthinker, so i'm not trying to find things wrong but its just where my brain has gone to.

Additional context: i originally had mentioned that i wasn't sure if i could make it because it is very expensive but i moved some money around and ended up not needing to pay a bill i thought i had. So i updated her saying yay i can make it. But now that i have thought about the plans i'm not sure i WANT to go even if i can make it.

My best friends birthday is in about 3 weeks and her celebrations are on the weekend of it. She has planned for her friendship group and me to take a trip up to a major city and stay in her parents condo and go out drinking/clubbing. (for context we are all about 19-22 so its the norm for people our age where we are). One of the main issues i am having with this is that there are 3 couples going + me. So, Ashley and her bf and 2 other couples. I will essentially be 7th wheeling. Now i could maybe possibly get past this if i knew all 6 of them well, but i don't. Don't get me wrong they all seem like lovely people and i get along with them but were not close, so this point alone seems like a very uncomfortable situation for me.

The second thing i'm not too keen on is the drinking and clubbing. I have recently decided to give up alcohol pretty much as a whole with exceptions here or there. For instance nye i went with my boyfriend to a firework show and then a fancy hotel and we drank together. We didn't get hammered, we got a nice amount of drunk and i was in a situation i felt comfortable. I do want to stress that i didn't give up alcohol because of addiction reasons i just am not that fond of it, i hate how vulnerable it makes me and hangovers just all in all it doesn't seem worth it to me to drink. I mentioned this to her and she mentioned that her intentions were to get "white girl wasted" which we have gone out clubbing together before and gotten super drunk like embarrassingly so, which i loved and i love doing things like that with her, occasionally. Also not in February when its fucking freezing outside and the girls are all talking about wearing mini dresses and heels. Again, i love dressing like that so also not judging just i don't really want to in -5c weather.

Thirdly, this is an expensive trip for one night going out. I am unemployed right now and am on a very tight budget and to be very frank i wouldn't want to waste the money that i barely have right now on something i don't think i will enjoy.

so reddit, WIBTA if i cancel on my besties birthday celebrations?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/SnooGrapes498 on 2024-01-19 10:21:09+00:00.

So my husband (33) works in a very stressful work environment and works a lot, and I’m usually okay with the long hours. (Business trips during holidays, etc). He did not have weekends or much rest since November.

However, this March since I’m having a business trip to Dubai, I wanted to treat him and fly him over for a weekend to rest and relax and I asked him to take an extra day off. (Total 3 days). He said he would check.

Today, while in bed, I reminded him again to confirm since I wanted to book a nice hotel. Also today I saw that his favorite stand up comic will be in town. So I asked him if he could take another day off, since we would need to stay an extra day to catch the show. (Total 4 days).

He then started to sound agitated and annoyed. We talked back and forth as to what workload does he have to not be able to take additional days.

I calmly and softly explained to him why this short vacation was needed and it was just for him to relax and rest a bit.

To make it short, he finished the conversation in an ordering and angry manner saying “I can’t. Also this extra day, I’m 90% sure I can’t.”

I turned around in bed and cried, because I was hurt that he is unable to see that I’m doing this for him. What bothered me more is that rather than sounding apologetic and sad he won’t be able to take a short vacay, he was very argumentative and annoyed and all he did was fight with me.

(I did not need a vacation, as I’m a housewife who works occasionally). It was for him.

So while I cried, he turned his back to me. Then he asked “Why are you crying?” I then told him “You’re being an asshole.” He got angrier, and I rephrased and said “You’re being a bad husband”.

He got pissed I told him he was being an asshole and walked out and left me in the bed crying.

Now I’m in the guest room, alone. He hasn’t spoken to me since.

AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Top-Tangerine-5994 on 2024-01-19 08:08:28+00:00.

AITAH? It’s very cold over here at the moment and my car wouldn’t start for work the other day so I rang my husband who was on his was out with his work friends and told him he would need to come back and drop me off. I work nights so this was around 5:30pm. I was working 6pm-6am the following morning. He came and got me and I asked if he would be able to pick me up in the morning before going to work. He agreed and that was fine. The following day around 2pm after I’d woken up I went to try my car again and it was still too cold so one of my neighbors took a look and gave me a charger for the battery. Around 5:15 I tried to start it but still wouldn’t work so again I asked my husband if he could drop me off again as I started at 6pm. He agreed and on the way there I just said it actually would’ve made sense for me to just take his car and then I’d be able to get home as I finished at midnight. He jokingly (I thought) said no and then gave me £20 for a taxi back home. Which I thought was quite thoughtful. Whilst at work one of the higher up managers asked if I could help her on a new project the following afternoon as it would be good for my career development and I just immediately agreed. Then remembered about my car! So I messaged my husband excitedly about the opportunity and said I’d need to use his car tomorrow if mine still wouldn’t start. He send me a meme saying no but I just thought he was having a laugh. We are both insured on each others cars. However we don’t ever need to use each others and he also has a van for work. Thi morning he told me I was not allowed to take his car as I had never driven it before and that I should’ve said no when my boss asked for help. We got into an argument about it as I don’t understand why it’s an issue? I know how to drive and we’ve been driving the same number of years? He then said he was taking his car keys to work with him just to make sure I didn’t use it.

We were also supposed to be going out for a meal and a few drinks this weekend but I said I wasn’t going if he was acting like this. He called me a name and then stormed out to work.

I am furious. Am I in the wrong for being so angry?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/WholeTomorrow9507 on 2024-01-19 05:35:37+00:00.

Me and my ex had been in a relationship for a little over a year before we went to college. We went to different colleges so the long distance really damaged our relationship as it was hard for us to see each other since neither of us had a car. After a few weeks of being in school, my girlfriend asked me if it would be ok to open the relationship since we weren’t able to see each other as often as we wanted to. I stupidly agreed thinking it wouldn’t be a problem. A note that my ex’s birthday is in late September and mine is in early October (not saying exact dates for privacy). We opened our relationship mid September. When her birthday came around, I bought her a few small gifts from Temu, 5 or 6 small silly items. We FaceTimed when the package arrived and she unboxed them and loved them. Time passes and we FaceTime each other when we can but I can tell she’s more distant and talking to other guys which is ok because we agreed to open the relationship. When my birthday comes around, no package arrives and my ex gives no indication of a present coming. I call her and we talk about our days and then I bring up my birthday asking if she got me anything. She says she has some things but hasn’t sent them yet, so I happily await a package for another week. It doesnt come. Thanksgiving break comes along and we meet up back in our hometown to discuss how our relationship is going. During our conversation, I ask her about my birthday gift and if she brought it with her from school. She says she forgot it in her dorm and she’ll send it as a Christmas present. A few weeks after thanksgiving, she breaks up with me because she met another guy at her college. I knew it would happen eventually and I really was in a bad state for a while. When Christmas came around we briefly started talking again. I told her that during Black Friday I had got her a small gift (some perfume from bed bath and beyond’s super sale) maybe hinting that she could get me something too. She had no present for me. I wasn’t all that surprised but I kind of expected something. When I gave her my gift and she didnt have anything for me I just stood there. I didn’t say anything or yell but I just felt sad. I understand that we weren’t in a relationship anymore but she could’ve gotten me something. Or at least given me the gift she had already bought for me for my birthday. Am I the asshole for expecting a gift from my ex?

Just to clarify, I am 20 male and my ex is 19 female

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/FaQthisGuy on 2024-01-19 04:19:57+00:00.

Picked up my kid from a park directly behind the school. Giant mob of kids around something. (Was hoping it wasn't a hurt kid) Was a dead animal. Told the kids its not safe, rabies, diseases, getting sick, etc. No one listened. Watched 3 more adults walk by, watch this mob of kids, and say nothing. Called the school, talked to the front desk, told them where it was and what was going down. The office lady asked for names and i said, "I dont want to give names because now that they know I'm on the phone, they are walking away plus I dont know all of them." Office lady reiterates "Give me the names you do know". Gave names. Took my kid and left pissed and in disbelief that not a single other adult tried to intervene. Hope their kids washed their hands when they got home..... A parent of some of the boys tried to stop me as I was leaving (I imagine her sons told their mom some story anticipating the shitstorm that's going to happen tomorrow) and I ignored her like I didnt hear anything and went home. She was scrolling thru her phone in her SUV while her sons were gathered around the corpse along with several of their friends that I also named. So, Reddit... AITA

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/NechOwlloa on 2024-01-18 19:52:32+00:00.

Me and my best friend play games together all the time. He has a massive habit of whenever there’s slight difficulty in a game, he’ll find someone to carry him and grind for him so the games easier. Now this doesn’t bother me much, except when he does something like he did today. We’ve been playing this game for a few weeks together, doing everything together and not going ahead of eachother. Well our progress started slowing down a little bit so he went and found a group of people who would carry him and help him get stronger, the issue is, they carried him through a large chunk of the story which we were doing together. Right before we got on to play together he warned me that he did a little something and not to be mad, and as soon as we were in a group together I saw that he went a significant amount of the story without me and got mad and started yelling at him over it. For context as well, this is also around the 20th time he’s done this over the last 15 years we’ve been friends and I feel like he knows this bothers me significantly considering he warns me not to be upset right before I find out. In his defense he seems to say that we’d find it more fun if he could carry me throw the story, which I have expressed isn’t what I enjoy from the game, but going through it together with him at the same time. I can’t tell if I’m blowing this out of proportion or not so AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRAboughtitall on 2024-01-19 12:16:41+00:00.

Earlier this week, I(25F) got on the scale for the first time in I don't know how long, weighed myself, and was shocked an saddened by what I saw. I'm 244 pounds and I'm 5'6. I didn't think I was 244. I figured 230lb max.

I was very shaken up and it just horrified me so, when I wasn't my usual chatty self that night. My sister( 28F) who I share an apartment with, asked me what was wrong.

Yes, I did start ranting, I couldn't help it, basically just saying I didn't want to weigh this much or be this big.

After about 10 minutes my sister rolls her eyes and takes me by the hand and leads me to our bedroom, stands me in front of our mirror and very angrily goes. " Bloated face, your fault, fat arms, your fault. Big gut, your fault. Love handles, your fault. fat thighs, your fault, fat ass, your fault. Everything you see is your fault because you ate too much".

Yes, I've complained about my weight and size in the past to her and yes she's told me to eat better and work out, but, I thought this was over the line.

She turns me sideways, lifts up my shirt( not missing a chance to let me know it's a snug fit), and reiterates that my gut is my fault.

I told her she was just being sick and cruel and that what she was doing wasn't motivating me at all. She told me to shut up, told me she was sick and tired of discussing my weight, and hearing me " whine" about tight jeans. She left me with, " Your obesity, your fault. I'm not being sick or cruel"

I cried in our room, she did nothing.

AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/whaaa1002 on 2024-01-19 11:36:14+00:00.

A while ago, we had recieved our exam results and one of my classmates, i'll call him Billy, had the highest scores in all of them. He then started to brag to the entire class the whole day and comparing his scores to others. When he then approached me and asked for my scores, when I said it, he then said something like "I got higher than you". Before this, he bragged about his test scores, but i got tired of it. So i told him to stop and started to go off on him saying how annoying he is bragging about his scores. Since everyone in the classroom at the time was staring at him, he loomed very embarassed and sat back down. Ever since he had never bragged about anything and i feel bad for ruining his confidence. AITA?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Hamill5478 on 2024-01-19 11:21:28+00:00.

AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding because she didn't invite me to hers?

I'm 24f and I'm getting married in a few weeks. 7 years ago my sister got married and I was so excited. I talked to het about the wedding, what dress I'll wear and if I could help her plan it and she was always dismissive and a few weeks before the wedding she told me that it would be 18+. She said she wanted to exclude annoying kids and made this rule and she can't make exceptions and all this crap. She also said I was too young for the adult atmosphere and whatever. My 18th birthday was a week after the wedding.

I was devastated and I begged my sister to let me come. I really wanted to be there and support her. My step mom refused to go to the wedding as a result of that and my dad almost divorced her over that, among other things. I eventually accepted it and I told my sister that I would not invite her to my wedding. She scoffed and laughed and said I was being inmature and I'll forget about it.

My fiance's dad owns a massive yacht company. They rent out yachts, make repairs and sell equipment. The wedding party will take place on a yacht which can accommodate 200 guests. She asked me about the wedding and I flat out told her she wasn't invited. She said I was being petty and how hurtful I was and that her reasons were justified and it's in the past. To be honest I feel she just wants to be on the yacht and not so much support me. I told her that she should've thought about that back then and now she understands how I feel and that she's only jealous that my wedding will be better than hers.

My dad called me and said I need to stop being petty and invite her and other family agree. I told them no and after some arguing they respected it. My sister is being a bitch about it on Facebook.

Edit: a friend suggested I should make my sister delete all the Facebook posts and write an apology letter saying why it was wrong to exclude me from the wedding. I think that's cringe but what do you all think

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Worldcitizen28 on 2024-01-19 11:12:27+00:00.

I (30F) do not live with my mom (58F) anymore, but every 3 or so months I will visit (besides regular visits) to throw expired food and medication away, and then I immediately buy replacements.

My mom hates to see me throwing “good food” away, so against my best judgement I take the expired food and donate to the homeless. I live in a very poor country and there is always someone happy to take the food.

I don’t like the idea that I am giving expired food to someone, but if I don’t, my mom will get extremely upset. Even with this arrangement she is still resentful.

I don’t understand why she gets so upset that I replace her expired items with the exact same items, and then donate them. I understand she might not like that I go through her stuff, or takes it personal, but in my mind I care for her and her health by making sure she is not ingesting anything that can make her sick.

I also buy new food with my own money, so it comes to no expenses of her own.

I appreciate the advices!

Edit; in my country there is not “expired” or “best buy” distinction, just “valid until” labels - meat, vegetables, canned goods, oils, tea, everything has a “valid until” which is the date up until the producer will take responsibility for the good. I understand some items will still be healthy to eat after the “valid until” date but I don’t want my mom taking the risk

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Far_Scholar1986 on 2024-01-19 10:55:07+00:00.

I am not a good writer so forgive any spelling errors or if my text doesn’t make sense. My husband(30m) and I(29F) have 2 kids 4 and 6 and we bought a house September 22’. My husband has a very bad habit of not locking the front door or his car. He will sometimes forget his wallet in his car and once even his keys in his car overnight with the doors unlocked. He constantly leaves and forget to lock the door when he goes to work at 4:30 in the morning. It is dark and the kids and I are still sleeping! I tell him all the time someone could just walk in and I wouldn’t know because I’m asleep upstairs. He has no sense of urgency and it’s giving me bad anxiety. The worse part is last winter we had several cars in our neighborhood broken into and yet he still thinks nothing could happen to us. I honestly don’t know how to get through to him. I have such bad anxiety about someone breaking in without him forgetting to lock the door and now he makes it 10times worse. He gets mad about me nagging him all the time but he truly doesn’t understand that we are not an exception. Aita for getting on him about it every time? I’m starting to feel like maybe I’m just doing too much.

My husband grew up very poor in a one bedroom apartment with multiple siblings and I feel he never had anything to really lose so he never developed any sense of urgency.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/malevoryes on 2024-01-19 10:38:05+00:00.

My roommate and I both have our names on our lease that was renewed back in Oct 2023 which ends on Nov 2024. We made an agreement with each other that we would each be paying for half of the total monthly rent, and this agreement has been in place since before the lease renewal.

At the end of December 2023 he told me he found a better opportunity and would be moving out in January.

He told me that if we paid $[x] between the two of us, we could buy out of the lease completely and it would count for our rent payments for 2 months after that (we need a 2 months written notice to terminate the lease.) If that was the case, I told him I wouldn't mind paying for half of it because it would be cheaper for both of us in the long run - mutually beneficial.

However, sensing this was total B.S. I spoke with my property manager who clarified that the $[x] is a separate charge and we are still rent responsible for the following 2 months after that notice is given (so March 31st if we gave our notice before the 31st of this month). That made more sense. I do not feel comfortable paying half of the termination fee out of my own pocket simply so he can move out while I stay here.

When I expressed to him that I would not pay half of the $[x] just so he can leave, I was told by him that we will "cross this bridge when we get there."

He decided yesterday that he would "help me" with rent until the end of February. "Help me..." meaning that he shows no intention of paying his part of the rent after that point. Keep in mind: his name is still on the lease agreement. If he chooses to terminate the lease sometime in February if a roommate isn't found, our 2-month notice is pushed back to April 31st and we are both still rent responsible until then. That's 2 full months of rent that he has no intention of paying.

I am unable to pay the entire rent on my own which means that he will have the face the consequences just as much as I would if he refuses to pay his half. This also means that even though he is searching for a roommate, I am in search of a roommate myself as well simply out of fear and obligation. I do not feel like I should be responsible for not finding a roommate if a roommate is not found. I also recognize that since I cannot pay the rent fully on my own, we will both be legally responsible when he decides to stop paying.

So, I am kindly asking if AITA for

A) Alerting him that I will not be accepting responsibility for paying the possible termination fee if it was his choice to leave in the first place

B) Letting him know that I will not be accepting responsibility for finding a roommate to fill the spot that he is leaving behind and letting him know that said responsibility is his own

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ArugulaHot on 2024-01-19 05:19:37+00:00.

She’s Catholic from a very Catholic (99%) country, and she’s turning 77 this year. We’ve met maybe 10 times in my life. Definitely a fascist and maybe unrelated, she certainly has some narcissistic traits. We don’t really get along, but she’s someone who holds a lot of memory about our family and history, so I’m trying to hold that she’s an old lady doing the best she can. This woman is 100% against abortion, but she thinks that the extrajudicial murder of drug users is fine and necessary.

I was born and raised in the US, and I’m essentially a researcher for abortion advocacy. My job is a significant part of my life; I work hard at what I do, I’m damn good at it, I love my team, and I’m well paid too. It’s as close as I can get to perfect short of the fact that I don’t really believe in “dream” jobs.

I honestly don’t care about what she thinks of me at this point because I’m an adult and she doesn’t actually know me as a person. I want to commit to showing up as my full self as much as possible around my family, but at the same time, I do wonder if it’s selfish to not consider that this would be a moral clusterfuck for her. Would I be the asshole if I told my Catholic grandma that I not only support abortion, but advocate for it as my profession?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/montana_406_mom on 2024-01-19 02:09:10+00:00.

I make a decent salary and pay all housing expenses, vacations, food, medical expenses including insurance, everything our kid needs, and whatever else comes along. My husband has been receiving disability for over a year now and pockets it. He buys his own gas for his car and stuff he wants. I asked if he could help pay our tax bill since he has not had SSI withhold any taxes but I have to include his SSDI in our tax filing. I have had extra withheld from my paycheck because we owed last year but I will still owe for 2023. He told me that has researched and he doesn't owe on his disability because he doesn't make enough. I explained that would be true if we weren't married. I ask for nothing 99% of the time. He told me to quit spending everything I make.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/XABACABBX on 2024-01-19 01:44:07+00:00.

Apparently about 19 years ago I told my wife that a joke about any topic no matter how taboo can be funny if the joke is good and well crafted.

Well this little topic came up again and she was mad at me again for thinking this.

AITA for feeling if a joke is well made it can be funny no matter what the topic?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/FlappyBunz on 2024-01-19 01:27:06+00:00.

Title basically.

My son has always been a bit wheezy and we finally got him in to see an allergist and have just found out that he is allergic to cats as well as a few other things that could be present in any home.

My partner went straight to the nuclear option of rehoming MY cat of 13 years and cannot see another option.

I’m very attached to this animal and she is extremely attached to her. Aside from just wanting to keep her around, I fear that an extended time away from me is going to send her to an early grave simply from stress and anxiety.

I can about the health of my child immensely but am having a very hard time coming to terms with the decision that I’m being forced to make.

AITA?

*I should also add that after speaking directly with the allergist myself, she feels his asthma is responding well to treatment.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ilovecorgis30 on 2024-01-18 15:03:58+00:00.

I (27 F) am a nurse and work 12 hour nights- 7p-7a. I often work stretches of 3+ nights in a row. During these stretches, I barely have time to sleep much less do household chores. My boyfriend (28 M: let’s call him James) and I have been living together for almost a year, and been together for 2 . I recently worked a stretch of 3 nights, with one night off, followed by another 4 nights. To say I’m exhausted is an understatement. James works a typically 9-5 office job and has a fair amount of free time in the evenings. I’ll admit I’m not always the cleanest person and often leave clothes everywhere, don’t always do my dishes immediately, and just generally forget to pick things up. When I’m not working a stretch, I try to be a lot more conscious of this and do my best to pick up the house more. When I am working a stretch, however, this all sort of goes out the window- and it’s nothing crazy, just maybe forgetting to put a few things away or leaving dishes in the sink. My issue is that when I come home from work and I’m mentally, physically and emotionally drained- the house is a mess. Everything is exactly how I left it, but with the addition of his dishes in the sink and his stuff laying around. Coming home to a messy house is really stressful to me. I understand that my mess is my own problem, and I’m not expecting him to necessarily clean up after me- just to make a little more of an effort to clean when he knows I’m working a lot. I tried talking to him about it by just mentioning how much I’d appreciate it if he cleaned one day while I was asleep before working another shift. He was fully taken aback and responded with “sure I guess….” Followed by “well you didn’t clean this past week when you weren’t working, so I’m just confused why you expect me to clean.” For the record, I hadn’t cleaned that week, but my childhood pet had passed away at the beginning of the week and I was feeling really down.

TLDR: am I the asshole for wanting my boyfriend to clean up a little more when I’m working a stretch of night shifts?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Worth_Intern2159 on 2024-01-18 14:51:17+00:00.

For context, I (52F) am expecting my first grandchild through my son Jake (28M) and his wife, Anne (28F).

I recently separated from my husband and have been staying with Jake. Since Anne has been unwell, I thought it would be a good idea to take over a few household duties such as cooking. Early in the pregnancy, Jake had told me that Anne was dealing with quite a lot of food aversions and had stopped eating meat. Anne has visibly lost weight and has been back and forth from the hospital for different check ups and was receiving Iron infusions.

When I cook dinner, it’s generally meat and vegetables. I always make a plate for Anne. She always declines to eat and locks herself in the bedroom for the rest of the evening. Jake has told me this is because the smell makes her ill and said has asked if I could either cook on the barbecue outside or try some vegetarian meals.

I decided I would cook outside so Jake wouldn’t have to eat vegetarian food. I continued to make a plate for Anne and she would keep saying no and would hide in her room. I admit I have been starting to worry that Anne has just been using food aversions as an excuse to avoid eating and gaining pregnancy weight.

Things finally came to a head the other night. I cooked again. Anne declined again. I decided to go into her room to confront her. She maintained that even the thought of eating meat made her want to vomit. I ended up losing my temper and told her she was acting like a bratty child by refusing to eat the meat. She needed the iron from it. Refusing to eat a real dinner was going to hurt my grandchild. She got upset with me and told me I needed to leave since I was making everything harder.

I tried to talk to Jake about this but he has sided with Anne and asked me to stay somewhere else. I don't understand. I am just trying to make sure my grandchild is healthy. So AITA for trying to make my daughter in law eat?

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/BubblyChocolatey on 2024-01-19 10:22:54+00:00.

My parents let me choose what university I want to attend and also the course I want to take. i grabbed that opportunity to choose the school I like and to pursue what I want. and so, I'm now 12 hours ride away from home.

During my first year, I can't seem to comprehend that I need to call them daily since I'm really not that close to them and I dont know how to start conversations when it comes to them. I'm that awkward-only-child type of kid when it comes to being sweet and being able to converse smoothly with parents. So they made a deal with me, atleast call every weekend in which I agreed.

I did follow our deal, obeyed their conditions. But, AITA for not calling when I'm sick, when I go out with friends, when I can't send them my grades instantly after exams since profs dont give grades immediately after exams, and when I decided to join the student council even if it's not the weekend?

I really did sticked to our deal, call every weekend. So, AITA for that?

p.s. talking to them always give me the chills, always nervous, always stuttering. maybe that's why calling them as frequent as they want seems so hard for me.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Odd_Spell1670 on 2024-01-19 09:50:57+00:00.

My wife (38F) and I (38M) are your average busy parents with stressful jobs and stressful kids. Dena has two best friends, Shana and Samantha who live in different states.

Last month Shana asked my wife if she wanted to run a half marathon in Vegas. When Dena brought up going to Vegas I said half-jokingly that I had never been to Vegas and she can't go twice before I had gone once. She asked if I meant it. I said yes. So she was like ok I guess we can work it out. Samantha and Dena's sister ended up going too.

I later backed out not wanting to be third wheel to a girl's trip. A few days after I backed out my wife found out Samantha's husband Jim is going and asked if I still want to go. I excitedly agreed.

A week later my wife asks me "Hey you're ok with sharing a room with my sister right?" I said "No I'm not ok with sharing a room. Why would we share a room?" She explained that we would share a room with her sister to help save her and us some money. Apparently Shana was going to share a room with Samantha and Jim. I said "Every single person going on this trip makes six figures other than your sister. Why would we share a room to save money? Why doesn't Shana share a room with your sister? Why would we give up our privacy to save money?" My wife was not having it and we faught over it but didn't resolve anything.

The more I thought about it the more it upset me. We don't go on enough dates. We've never been away from our kids for more than one night. Why would she feel ok with removing any chance at intimacy during a 4 day trip away from the kids?

A week later I asked her thoughts on our Vegas trip. She explained that we wouldn't be spending any time in our room together anyway. Her last girls trip they never spent any time in their rooms. They only used their rooms to crash. This is a girl's trip and Jim coming along meant I would have someone for me but it didn't change that this was a girl's trip. I argued that having our own room and privacy doesn't change the trip at all. Not sharing a room wouldn't change the dynamics of the trip but it would at least create the opportunity for there to be intimacy between us and that that was important to me. Again she wasn't having any of it. During the argument my wife admitted that she had agreed to share a room before she had even asked me. She said someone had suggested it in their text thread and she replied "I don't care".

We didn't talk for a couple days after that fight. When we warmed back up to each other she told me that she had told the group we wouldn't be sharing a room any longer.

She thinks I am the AH because I forced my will on her. I think she is the AH because she agreed to share a room without consulting me, tried to sell me on why that was ok, and ignored the importance of intimacy in our relationship.

AITA

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Andesite_Alike on 2024-01-19 09:49:26+00:00.

I’m (34F) Aussie but I lived in the UK for 8 years for work and I’ve been living in Canada for the last 4 years. Having lived away from Australia for so long, my Aussie accent is very watered down and a lot of Canadians and Americans assume I’m from the UK.

My friend, Justin (31M), introduced his girlfriend, Ella (late 20s-early 30s?F), to our friend group at a NYE party. While getting to know everyone, Ella asked if anyone had travelled and another friend said they’d been to a few places and mentioned Australia. I was about to say I’m from there when Ella started gushing about how she really wants to visit Australia and it’s the top of her travelling bucket list, but she kept referring to the country as “Aussie” instead of Australia (e.g. “I can’t wait to fly to Aussie!”). I let it slide at first but she kept doing it until I corrected her by saying “Heads up, the term “Aussie” only refers to a person or thing from Australia, not the country.” She asked how I would know since I’m British and I said “Because I’m not British, I’m Australian. I just lived in the UK for a while so my accent is watered down.”

After that, Ella went quiet even though we tried to keep including her in the conversation, but she went over to Justin about 10 minutes later and they left. Justin has texted our group chat since then and said I didn’t need to be such a smart arse bitch to Ella and make her feel like an idiot and now neither of them want to hang out with us if I’m there until I apologise. It’s split the group and I didn’t think I was harsh or a smart arse, but now I’m doubting myself.

AITA?

Edit: grammar typos

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/xxcrossmyheartxx on 2024-01-19 09:32:48+00:00.

I was at Stew Leonards with my fiancé and her friend. We were checking out then an old lady cut in front of my fiancés best friend who was behind us and next on line, with a line of people behind her. I said to the old lady, "excuse me but you just cut in front of the next person in line." she ignored me and just started putting her items on the conveyor belt. so i said, "excuse me ma'am but you cut the whole line" and she ingored me again. so i freaked out and said, "i guess rules don't apply to you, you old bag." and she still ignored me. the cashier was snickering and shaking his head and just rung her items up without saying anything.

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Strong_Apricot_6411 on 2024-01-19 09:31:23+00:00.

Three months ago, someone made an expose post, although it didn't really work and didn't get much attention, being deleted after 1 or 2 hours. However, the person personally accused me of faking ECAs( extracurricular activities), mentioning that from other people, they got to know he has many accusations against this—though I don't know if those are real or not. As a spiritual person, I didn't take those seriously, thinking that there were jealous people behind my back. Wherever I shared my accomplishments, I shared those with proof. I had the idea to ask this person why he would do that, but I thought I shouldn't give much attention to negativity. So, after 3 months, this suddenly remembered, and I feel so furious and feel like I cursed this person. This whole situation now makes me frustrated. I don't know I'm having palpitations and feeling unmotivated! Why people are so cruel.. I don't know why would I even care now. I'm feeling shitty for hurting myself :(

This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Notheie on 2024-01-19 09:16:57+00:00.

My(15m) mom visits once every month. Last visit, she was telling me how her cats were beginning to not use their litter box. She has four cats. The Scottish Folds Lily, Mike and their kitten Angie, with their other kittens living with my aunt. And Ivy, the Russian Blue.

I said 'If you're scooping the boxes daily then see the vet. Ask her what else could be causing issues." She went silent. That was when I asked "You don't scoop everyday, do you?" Mom shook her head and said she only does it once a week, since her ex-bf used to help her with it but then he left. She then quietly mumbled that they only have one box between them, before saying that that couldn't be the issue and asking if I can help her work out what to do about it.

At which point I said she was 'doing a real crappy job.' It was out of complete incredulity. She then snapped at me, saying I have no idea how difficult it is to manage her time with four cats and that the litter is expensive and she can't replace it all the time. That money doesn't grow on trees and I don't understand how the world work et cetera.