this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2024
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Worldcitizen28 on 2024-01-19 11:12:27+00:00.


I (30F) do not live with my mom (58F) anymore, but every 3 or so months I will visit (besides regular visits) to throw expired food and medication away, and then I immediately buy replacements.

My mom hates to see me throwing “good food” away, so against my best judgement I take the expired food and donate to the homeless. I live in a very poor country and there is always someone happy to take the food.

I don’t like the idea that I am giving expired food to someone, but if I don’t, my mom will get extremely upset. Even with this arrangement she is still resentful.

I don’t understand why she gets so upset that I replace her expired items with the exact same items, and then donate them. I understand she might not like that I go through her stuff, or takes it personal, but in my mind I care for her and her health by making sure she is not ingesting anything that can make her sick.

I also buy new food with my own money, so it comes to no expenses of her own.

I appreciate the advices!

Edit; in my country there is not “expired” or “best buy” distinction, just “valid until” labels - meat, vegetables, canned goods, oils, tea, everything has a “valid until” which is the date up until the producer will take responsibility for the good. I understand some items will still be healthy to eat after the “valid until” date but I don’t want my mom taking the risk

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