this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2024
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ArugulaHot on 2024-01-19 05:19:37+00:00.


She’s Catholic from a very Catholic (99%) country, and she’s turning 77 this year. We’ve met maybe 10 times in my life. Definitely a fascist and maybe unrelated, she certainly has some narcissistic traits. We don’t really get along, but she’s someone who holds a lot of memory about our family and history, so I’m trying to hold that she’s an old lady doing the best she can. This woman is 100% against abortion, but she thinks that the extrajudicial murder of drug users is fine and necessary.

I was born and raised in the US, and I’m essentially a researcher for abortion advocacy. My job is a significant part of my life; I work hard at what I do, I’m damn good at it, I love my team, and I’m well paid too. It’s as close as I can get to perfect short of the fact that I don’t really believe in “dream” jobs.

I honestly don’t care about what she thinks of me at this point because I’m an adult and she doesn’t actually know me as a person. I want to commit to showing up as my full self as much as possible around my family, but at the same time, I do wonder if it’s selfish to not consider that this would be a moral clusterfuck for her. Would I be the asshole if I told my Catholic grandma that I not only support abortion, but advocate for it as my profession?

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