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RetroGaming
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Vintage gaming community.
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Ah yes, Kool-Aid Man. On the intro screen, he bursts through a brick wall—and if you're going to make a game about Kool-Aid Man, that's mandatory.
If Kool-Aid Man doesn't crash through something at the start, is it even a Kool-Aid Man game? (No. It’s not.)
Now the goal here is simple: protect the precious Kool-Aid from what I can only describe as sentient bombs with straws. They’re called Thirsties, which sounds like the name of a failed emo band, but whatever. These little creeps try to slurp up all your Kool-Aid—which is weird, because I thought drinking the Kool-Aid was the entire point of Kool-Aid.
Anyway, you’ve got to wait until they actually start drinking before you slam into them. Do it too early and nothing happens. Wait too long and they tap you first, sending you careening across the screen like a sentient bowling ball. Bonus tip: don’t touch the walls either, because apparently the Kool-Aid Man is so full of juice that the slightest touch make him bounce.
People like to blame games like this for the Great Video Game Crash. But I say no way. This game has charm. It's got bounce (literally). It's got bright colors. It’s got Kool-Aid Man yelling "OH YEAH!" like he just snorted a line of Pixy Stix. Okay, he doesn't literally do this, but in my head canon, he does.
Sure, this is advertising. But so was Cool Spot for the SEGA Genesis, and most people agree that game was pretty darn good too. So cut Kool-Aid Man some slack. He may be a glass-bodied corporate shill, but by god, he’s our glass-bodied corporate shill.
Oddly, this was made by Mattel Electronics for their M Network imprint, which they used for systems that weren't published for Intellivision. In this case, Kool-Aid Man was an Atari 2600. And I don't understand why this game wasn't available for Mattel's own console. Was Kool-Aid Man too cool for those dweebs who played Intellivision?
We may never know. But one thing’s for sure: Kool-Aid Man definitely belonged on the Atari.
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This Mario 64 one is my particular favorite. I think it's so funny that Metal Mario has a reflection of what looks like open land and clouds. Pairs well with the fact that in-game his texture was some flowers and a cloudy sky.
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This Mario hack is so cool! The story is inspired by the Bowsette meme, and by the end, you even get to make a choice 🙂
The level design is excellent. I really appreciate small details - like coins that guide you where to fall, or how all the dragon coins are placed either before or after the checkpoint.
The difficulty is similar to the original game. Some of the Special World levels were pretty tough, but the hack has an adaptive difficulty system: coin blocks sometimes turn into power-up blocks if you have 5 lives or fewer. If you're down to your last life, the level even adds a few Starman power-up blocks!
There are also a bunch of quality-of-life improvements. I especially loved the removal of the timer and the fact that falling into a pit doesn't immediately result in a game over.
And the soundtrack is absolute banger. Most of the songs are well-known hits ported into SNES. Here is the link to the playlist.
And here is the link to the hack.
What’s your favorite SMW hack? 🙂
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In terms of gameplay, Unstoppable Gorg doesn’t do anything innovative. I mean, you’re pretty much building income, doing research, and placing turrets.
But what makes it memorable are its gloriously campy cutscenes, lovingly styled after 1950s sci-fi B-movies. It leans hard into the genre’s cheesy charm, delivering pure, self-aware fun with a sense of humor that’s genuinely funny.
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Warriors & Castles. Population: Me. I played a dead PvP from 2015—here's what happened.
(lemmy.world)
So I just tried to play Warriors & Castles, a game I bought back in 2015—but haven't launched until now.
The conceit is that this is a medieval Capture the Flag. You can be a knight, an archer, or a wizard. And the goal is to get inside the castle and defeat your opponent's queen.
There’s just one issue—it’s a PvP game, and the servers are a ghost town. No one’s playing. Whoops.
So instead I opted for a bot match. And unfortunately, the bots aren't too smart. I pretty much just avoided them and stormed the castle gates.
Tediously, it took a long time to break them down. I died lots in the process. But after many, many respawns, I finally defeated the queen.
The win was very unceremonial. I just got text on my screen that said "Victory"—then a chance to start over again. Since I knew the result would be the same, yet would be just as tedious, I opted not to continue.
In all, it took me 40 minutes. I guess I "beat" the game. Or, at least, as much as a PvP with bots would allow.
I will say this much for Warriors & Castles. For a game that started development in 2015, it still looks somewhat okay. Not impressive, but okay.
Do I recommend this? No, Warriors & Castles is stuck in "early access", and the last update was eight years ago.
Nevertheless, it was a good idea for a PvP. If all you want is a casual PvP with a medieval theme, this could have been good. Alas, the developers abandoned it and whatever community existed has vanished.
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