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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/countesslathrowaway on 2023-10-02 22:51:43.
I contemplated posting this from a throwaway, but I have never wanted to speak up so badly in my life. This week a local businessman (and - ahem, self described pillar of the community) called my bakery and asked for me. My female employee told him that I was unavailable and he responded three times, asking “is she busy fucking the Pillsbury Dough Boy?”. My employee thought that she must have misunderstood and asked him to repeat himself, to which he happily echoed the question. She hung up on him at this point and fearing a customer complaint, she told me what had happened the next morning as soon as she saw me.
Of course I assured her that she should always hang up in instances of disrespect and I promised her my support in managing situations like this should they arise. We then set out to figure out who called, which was easy, because Caller ID and his (business) number was easily located on Google. I first emailed the business requesting a discussion, but then also found a direct name and number listed as a board member of the chamber of commerce. I immediately called the police. This “pillar” called back right after I placed a call to the police, but before they arrived, and he started a fire within me that is burning so hard.
On this phone call, he was sure to tell me his entire unsolicited resume, he was a board member, an ordained minister, he was well connected and he was calling because I spoke up about my experience with his friend who is running for local government. I did speak up and I shared in a local group that during the course of a business conversation, that his friend sent me a text message that said “I need you”, as a woman in business, I was wholly unimpressed and waited to respond, redirecting the conversation to business and clearly indicating that I was not going to bite.
So Mr. Resume demanded that I meet with himself and Mr. Needy and I declined, asking him why I would ever sit down with someone who harassed my employee by asking if I was “fucking the Pillsbury Dough Boy”? He told me told me that he never said it and that no one would ever believe me if I told anyone what he had done. He said “it’s a real he said, she said, isn’t it?” See, I’m a baker and I wake up mad early, so by the time he got around to returning my phone call, I had already emailed the board that he was on and the mayor who was connected to the board. I had already called the police and they were on their way, they did take us seriously and in my state what he did is illegal.
On the call, he continued to demand that I meet with the two men. Still no for me. And when I informed him that I had already contacted the police, and the board, and the mayor that sits on that board, he started shouting “BY GOD NO ONE WILL BELIEVE YOU, BY GOD!” And then he hung up. We have underage teens working at our counter and he called after school hours, luckily it was an adult woman who answered and not a child. My own children work at my shop and my daughter answers the phone on the weekends. There was no way I was going to let this go after he had involved other people.
Today I continued to tell as many people as I could what happened. I didn’t know this man and my employee had absolutely no idea that I had posted or what I had posted about. Hearing him tell me over and over and over again that no one would believe me had me twisted. I have the text message, I have the phone logs, I have another person who faced the harassment when I wasn’t even present. I have receipts, sir, I have clear as day receipts.
The audacity, the flip flopping audacity of this man to call me, at my work, to ask what he asked, to know that I have text messages of my experience, and to tell me that I won’t be believed? Okay, let’s find out. I am ready to show everyone my receipts and I have contacted every single person who I think should know and I’m not done. I’m going to file all ethical complaints that are applicable. I’m so sick of being subjected to the flirting, the sexual comments, the sexual insults, and I’m so sick of being under estimated as a woman. I opened my business just a year and a half ago and I have demonstrated business strength beyond what half of these jokers could imagine and that never matters. I took $8k and turned it into a mid six figure business in 18 months, but here I am fielding the lowest of effort insults by these two “well connected” wannabe local ganstas, who are trying to intimidate me and I’m not even sure which one of them is dumber. It’s maddening.