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I tried writing a post explaining why, but it's just too much, and too many personal details and having to explain things going years back, it's just to much.
Very very long story short I'm disabled, about to get evicted, and can't find a suitable place to live and not mentally strong enough to live somewhere unsuitable again becuse it almost killed me the last times I had to. But ike I say, there is a lot more to it that makes it too big a mess to explain.

And I only have a couple of people supporting me and they're not available and I'm spiralling in to the dark places where this is all heading, and I figured I'd shout in to the void and see if anyone answers back.