this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2024
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Mental Health

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I tried transitions, is it safe to say I did everything I could and now it's time to say goodbye (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 2 months ago by skymtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world
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::: Cw suicide 

I’ve known since I was 14 I was trans, ended up just having to suffer till I was 20, finally started estrogen, but ever since than it’s just be disgust and disappointment, I realize my body is just gross and repulsive regardless, like my genetics are just cursed. On top of that I have to same usual dead end job, I’m consider the goofy, unattractive person in every single group. I hate it. Outside of people who feel bad for me everyone avoids me cause I’m socially awkward. On top of not even being able to afford my bills I’ve never had an actual relationship. I’m an ugly degenerate loser by every single metric. I think at 23 my best bet is to pull out my credit card, do some research into a common pistol and its uses, walk into an academy,  an tell them which gun I want and for common use etc, than go that parking lot I picked outside of town and pull the trigger. I picked it specifically cause it’s empty, no one but first responders will find me. I just feel so horrible but I’ve been in pain so long I honestly feel :::

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[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Please seek help from medical professionals or trusted friends/family. The fact you are making a post here suggests that your mind is not made up on this drastic - and final - course of action.

The interpersonal relationship and body dysmorphia issues you described in the OP are treatable and can get better.