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Man Dies After Secret 4-Year Battle With Gorilla (theonion.com)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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This is one of the best Onion articles ever. Read the whole thing.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Also, anyone notice that this took place in Roanoke, VA? Where they're especially known for gorilla attacks?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

General Electric used to have a big factory in Roanoke, so I'm guessing the gorillas are a result of industrial pollution from some sort of superfund site that has yet to be cleaned up.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

G.E. Corporation = Gorilla Experimentation Corporation.

Wake up sheeple!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So being woke is good? Make up your mind!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Would it be better to die from gorilla in your sleep?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Gorilla infestations again!