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OK, now I understand a little bit better what you were trying to say, and I agree that all the complaining about any particular major instance is pure bandwagon/circlejerking/stereotyping/etc.
In my personal view, lemmy.world is the worst Lemmy instance for a variety of reasons, but I don't think it's all .world users or even a majority, so I don't go around complaining about .world in every thread here like people do about hexbear and lemmygrad.
It's gotten so bad that, like you said, people are witch-hunting even other instances because they still federate with hexbear and lemmygrad and people think they're secretly harboring underground users of those instances. It's McCarthyism all over again.
Even if you federate with everyone, as long as you pay attention to what instance the magazine you're interacting with is located on, you can still reasonably navigate around and maybe see some interesting content.
Different instances definitely have different cultures though and if you say something "stupid" on the wrong instance someone will definitely let you know lol.
For sure, I think that this is a good evaluation of the situation. Different instances have different cultures and I wish more people would come to that realization and act accordingly. I think that this has been one of the stumbling blocks of federated group discussions like Lemmy so far.