this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2025
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I don't think most people consider dates to be the same as dressing up for work. One can look "nice" without having to look like a white collar drone in a boring workplace.
For example, I have different suits and ties for the workplace (conservative, standard dark colors) versus for things like weddings (brighter, more expressive colors and patterns and fabrics).
But even short of that level of formality, there are fashion choices that can attract attention. If you're in an environment where the dress code is to wear a collar and some buttons, there's a difference between a plain polo (whether cotton or some kind of performance polyester athleisure) or a short sleeve buttoned shirt with some fun prints (whether we're talking about Dan Flashes or a Hawaiian shirt or something more subtle), on top of the decision on whether to wear that shirt tight or loose or baggy.
Or, some people make conscious choices for their athletic wear, when they're going to the gym or for a run or a bike ride, or playing sports like golf or basketball or tennis.
For people who are going on dates, the attire can convey a message, either intentional or not. And people might choose to send completely different messages in the workplace versus on dates versus just out with friends.
I know what you mean, but I like to look good, so I have very nice clothes for work. It's not just office drone, cuz I would go mad, there's a lot of really cute colors and a couple of higher end tops. I've even got some ties and a lil dinner jacket for when the office has guests or the holiday dinner parties.
For me, it's just the headspace of "I hate that I have to wear this." The dress code is oppressive, and I'm told that I'm lucky. Apparently we were still full suit up until 2015. insane. and when I'm outside of work, I leave it 100% behind me. I don't want even a reminder of it.
Absolutely though, going out in girlmode is 100% intentional and about conveying a message. I feel like it's important to be upfront with my dates that it's a huge part of my identity, and that they have to be interested in that if they want to keep dating me.