Nobody else just buy their favourite shirt in bulk, I have like 10 shirts and jeans identical in my wardrobe
this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2025
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I do this for pants, and work gives me 4 shitty office polos each year so I have the same outfit every day, no brain power wasted understanding fashion or worrying about dress codes.
I don't usually anticipate a random garment to become my favourite.
I try to stock up when it happens but sometimes I can't find any at a price I'm willing (or able) to pay.
Having hippie grandma tastes and trying my damnest to buy mostly used clothes don't help either.
Otoh I'm getting real good at mending clothes until they fall apart. I have very low standards for home clothes.
I haven't dressed up for work since the 80s. Even when I was working in an office, it was jeans or shorts and a t-shirt most days.
The problem I have is that my office has a dress code policy from the '80s, so I'm wearing nice shirts every day I go to work. Now, it's become my "work attire" so my brain doesn't want to put it on for dates, because who would want their date to arrive in work clothes?
So far, my solution has just been to girlmode my dates, but I do wonder what my future partner will think when they realize I don't actually wear mesh tops and skirts all that frequently, and I have a small Men's Warehouse in my closet.
I don't think most people consider dates to be the same as dressing up for work. One can look "nice" without having to look like a white collar drone in a boring workplace.
For example, I have different suits and ties for the workplace (conservative, standard dark colors) versus for things like weddings (brighter, more expressive colors and patterns and fabrics).
But even short of that level of formality, there are fashion choices that can attract attention. If you're in an environment where the dress code is to wear a collar and some buttons, there's a difference between a plain polo (whether cotton or some kind of performance polyester athleisure) or a short sleeve buttoned shirt with some fun prints (whether we're talking about Dan Flashes or a Hawaiian shirt or something more subtle), on top of the decision on whether to wear that shirt tight or loose or baggy.
Or, some people make conscious choices for their athletic wear, when they're going to the gym or for a run or a bike ride, or playing sports like golf or basketball or tennis.
For people who are going on dates, the attire can convey a message, either intentional or not. And people might choose to send completely different messages in the workplace versus on dates versus just out with friends.
I know what you mean, but I like to look good, so I have very nice clothes for work. It's not just office drone, cuz I would go mad, there's a lot of really cute colors and a couple of higher end tops. I've even got some ties and a lil dinner jacket for when the office has guests or the holiday dinner parties.
For me, it's just the headspace of "I hate that I have to wear this." The dress code is oppressive, and I'm told that I'm lucky. Apparently we were still full suit up until 2015. insane. and when I'm outside of work, I leave it 100% behind me. I don't want even a reminder of it.
Absolutely though, going out in girlmode is 100% intentional and about conveying a message. I feel like it's important to be upfront with my dates that it's a huge part of my identity, and that they have to be interested in that if they want to keep dating me.
I for one would be stocked.
Fancy dude clothes look awesome on anyone that isn't me \o
I know ladies here are very rare... But. Maybe some gay bros can hear this too or anyone dating masc presenting person.
Buy them a nice shirt. They will treasure it forever. My wife bought me (girlfriend at the time, like first year of our relationship or so) sweatpants. I wore them today, 18 years later.
Things like that stay with us forever.
Now for those who are fashion blind like me, try to observe what they dress like, suggest something long the lines of "this could look good on you". Apparently I pick good clothes, but in reality, it's good because I complemented her in it. It doesn't take much, but will mean a lot to your partner.
If you find that disappointing, wait until you see my two inches.
I'll have you know I have 4 nice shirts. They're all identical black shirts though.
Are you a cartoon character?
Okay Doug.
It is the goal.
You sound like my co-workers. It's so easy to choose what to wear.
I got a set of undershirts I bought ~4 years going strong.
I am colorblind, so to make sure i don't fuck up pairings all my shirts are either black, white or military green. Plus that one red shirt i don't know how it came into existence.
I have a lot of nice shirts.
I also have trouble picking one and end up going with a few favorites.
I put mine in order. I hang them on the right and take from left. If I skip a shirt long, it is donated.
I run the same FIFO queue for my black shirts and blue jeans. I do have a small L1 cache next to my bed for quick access to yesterday's items. It invalidates after 24-48 hours though.
That is a good system!
I do the opposite and put the ones I wear the most on the left to get to them easier instead of stressing myself about whether an entire outfit matches. So the ones that only match one or two pants/shorts end up on the right, ignored.
Very nice!
The upside is that when I add something I start on the right to make space!
Y'all are fancy with your hanging shirts. I use a drawer system. Top shelf are my everyday shirts. Second shelf are my socializing t-shirts. If I'm hitting the third shelf, it's because I need to do laundry. I refuse to wear collars unless I have to because someone will get upset. They are so distracting and annoying rubbing on my neck and looking like I'm going to church. I seriously wonder to myself how people wear a button down shirt tucked in to their tight jeans just to be at home. It just looks soooo tight, restrictive, and generally uncomfortable. Shoot, I'm in jeans rn only because my roomie has company coming over. Otherwise, I'd be chillaxing in some soft sweats or pjs.
I have more space to hang and it is easier to get to the one I want than if they were stacked in a drawer. This includes tshirts, which make up most of my hanging shirts.
Plus my lack of folding skills means a drawer full of shirts would be a lumpy mess in short order.
I buy a pack of black shirts like once a year and take out the faded ones from rotation which become cleaning rags.
This year though I tried to step up my game and decided to get thin black shirts so they only work as under shirts and I'm forced to wear some button up shirts, all my button up shirts are also black though
Why throw out perfectly good clothes? Trousers I am wearing now are a little faded on the edges but still perfectly good to wear after a few years. I think my newest trousers are a year old. Few t-shirts have started getting small holes worn through so might replace them at some point.
I buy a pack of black shirts like once a year
Johnny Cash is alive and well.
Reminds of a twitter exchange I saw a while back [it gets reposted a lot]
A woman complains that there's a double standard that forces women to buy a lot of clothes and have many different looks.
A man responds that he doesn't care if he sees a woman wearing the same thing every day.
Yes, they do it because other women care.
At my old job, someone did a review on glass door and bitched about casual dress. The employees has the audacity to wear sweats.
because other women care
... and it is somehow men's fault anyway.
It's not specifically men's fault.
It's partriarchy's and - its pendant - misogyny's fault. People that pass as men do benefit from them and thus tend to manifest them more but they're baked in the whole society.
People that aren't men can internalize thoses biases too. Women enforcing other women wearing a shit ton of different outfits are manifesting internalized misogyny.
I'd argue that there's also a dash of classism sprinkled on top of it because it seems more of an issue in bourgeois (or at least bourgeois affiliated) settings. I wear safety clothes and PPEs in the shop so not much variety here and there's no issue if I wear the same outfit I like with friends.
And even at that patriarchy hurts even the "regular-est" cis straight white men. All that shit about "being a real man", promoting risky behaviours, shutting down all emotions, etc aren't good for anyone...
I hope you had an at least ok day c:
Capsule wardrobe is a thing.
"Honestly, I didn't expect to get this far so I'm all out of planning"
Me, in Patrick's voice: I have three