this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2025
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The frontal cortex matures from roughly 14 to the early 20s, characteristic of that age is to be both impulsive and confused, while the cortex is already fully functional you're still figuring out what to actually use it for.
That is: In the early 20s you become fully adult. Not in the legal sense (that's usually 18), but biologically. You're a grown-up. To argue that they can't make their own decisions is highly infantilising.
So there you have a guy who's a bit older, but very charming and generally fit, probably good in bed, a gentleman all around, he's famous and you have a modelling career that could take a bit of a boost. You get along well with each other. You enjoy the interplay between a fresh outlook on life and some more settled experience, it's invigorating both of you. Is there a transaction in that arrangement? Sure. But it's one that 20yolds are adult enough to enter with full awareness of what they're doing. Is it for you? Probably not, from what I gather. Is it your place to judge? Neither.
how can you call 30 years "a bit older" lmao
I wasn't blaming the women though so what you're saying here is irrelevant. Leo is using his status of fame and whealth to get very young women to date him, and replaces them with someone younger after a few years. Legal? Yes. Creepy? Also yes.
So you're not blaming the women, you're not saying that they don't know what they're getting into, either, everyone knows what Leo is up to, so you're calling Leo creepy for -- not questioning decisions the women make?
There's also a weird characterisation of agency, here. You're only characterising Leo as an active participant, not the women, you're saying what Leo does is use things that he has, passively (fame, wealth), to actively "get" women. I'd be much more convinced if you said he's a good flirt. Are women such passive creatures that when they see someone rich and famous, they just cannot help themselves but spread their legs? I find it hard to reconcile such a narrative with feminism, it's absolutely regressive.
I'm calling him creepy for not questioning his own decisions. "Why am I dating someone who could be my daughter? Shouldn't I be with someone my age?" Instead of "Oh you're a model and just turned 18? That's perfect!"
And this notion that you should date only people your age where does it come from? It seems a completely arbitrary moral claim to me.
common sense? would you date a 20yo girl in your fifties? her dad might be younger than you are. how is this arbitrary?
I would or wouldn't do lots of things that I accept others might do. My morality is not universal. I leave this kind of thinking to religion.
Maybe, instead of not asking those questions, he answers them in a way that you do not agree with? Maybe even based on factors that you overlook?
I'm not quite as old as Leo but that frontal cortex thing is a very hard cutoff. You seem to be very focussed on the "18" thing, that's not how human development and attraction works. According to the chart he has not dated an 18yold since he was 26, and hasn't shied away from 24yolds.
And, yes, he doesn't want to found a family, doesn't seem to want anything really long-term, at least not yet. Not for me to judge.
ok change 18 to 20, same argument
don't tell me there aren't any single 40yo women interested in him lol
Not really, the one number at least implies "I don't want to go to prison", the other is "these are too young for me". Anyway:
How many of those 40yolds are jealous, and what what kind of social narrative could they be pushing to make him stop dating that young. Also, how many of them would themselves have dated him with a 30 year age gap, given the opportunity.
I'd say 18 or 20 doesn't make a big difference when you're 50, but ok I agree that it seems like 20 is the lower limit. So I guess I was wrong and he does have a moral standard... Ok my bad. He's still a creep though.