this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2025
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[–] [email protected] 22 points 20 hours ago (5 children)

It's a toss up.

The one that was an immediate hell no, mixed with the wtf and "is this motherfucker trolling me?" was back in maybe 96 or so.

It wasn't a blind date, we'd run into each other at a gathering, and when our mutual friends suggested a date for us, it seemed like it was worth it.

We get to this place I suggested as being really casual, but really yummy food, for a dinner date. In the back and forth of setting it up, she wanted it to be very casual, shorts and sandals level of casual as an option, and the place fit that perfectly. What folks here in the south call a fish camp.

Anyway, we get there, sit down, and the waitress comes over and asks if we're ready. This woman looks at the waitress, then at me and says she needs a few minutes.

Once the waitress leaves, she leans in and asks "did you know there were insert slur for black folks here working at this place?".

I was flummoxed. Like, yeah, this is the south, some people are like that. But damn. How did nobody warn me the woman was like that? Or was she fucking with me.

So I asked her if she was fucking with me.

She said "not if you're a reinsert slur lover."

I said I was, and said she could feel free to fuck right off out the door. Which she did after causing a bit of a scene cussing at me.

The mutual friends claimed to not have known, and I believed them because they're the sort to not notice little signs, someone would have to be blatant before they'd catch it.


The other one was a great date, but it was still a wtf moment.

Similarly, we had met through a friend, and had talked a few times. Now, I knew the lady through a friend that was into some kinky stuff, and knew that she was too. This wasn't a problem, we had discussed that I'm almost vanilla, and she isn't, so it might not end up going anywhere. That mutual friend, if you're at one of his gatherings, chances are you'll run into people that go to his other kind of gatherings that have plenty of lube and maybe some rope involved. But they're all really nice people in general.

This, however, was the first time there was a vibe with someone. She was just cool. An artist, and an accountant, doing both professionally. She was into martial arts as a hobby, so not as deep into it as I was at the time, but deep enough we could talk and mess around with techniques. Similar music tastes, we liked the same kind of poetry and fiction. I'm saying that before she asked me out, we had talked a good bit at our friend's place.

So, we get to the diner we'd picked. It doesn't exist any more, but at the time it was the best hamburger you could get in three counties. We both loved the place already, so it seemed a good fit.

We eat, have a great time, and are sipping coffee as we chat.

She looks at me, dead in the eye and pulls out her dentures, swishes them in her water glass, and says "am I putting these back in, or am I sucking your dick in the car?"

She did not put them back in.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Did the loss of her teeth have an interesting story attached? I generally think of dating and dentures existing at opposite ends of the adult age spectrum, though of course there are exceptions.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 hours ago

Not interesting, no. Genetics made her teeth brittle, and after a few years of dealing with that as an adult, she got them yanked. Just one of those things.

Now, how she broke a couple of them before that was interesting to me. She had gotten into a fight at a bar when a dude groped her, and she headbutted him, but it didn't take him out and she got caught by a punch. She ended up whipping his ass, and from what the bouncer I knew at that club said it was brutal. She's going at this guy with blood pouring out of her mouth, throwing kicks at his head. Pretty much all the teeth on her left side were cracked, knocked out, or outright shattered.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Like, yeah, this is the south

into martial arts as a hobby, so not as deep into it as I was

Your username checks out :)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

:)

Back when I started using this name, I was deep deep into it lol

[–] [email protected] 3 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (1 children)

that "wtf" moment in the second story is what makes life great. sounds like a real catch and glad you had that experience

[–] [email protected] 4 points 15 hours ago

I agree :)

The way she handled it was just one reason she was so cool, but it was the one that made me really like her, as in seeking her out and wanting to spend time together.

She knew, and knows, that missing teeth are going to be a show stopper, no matter how you present it. Even the folks that don't care, the discovery of it is a mental readjustment of a few seconds, and the people that are into it will shift gears in their own way.

So, once she could tell I was getting into her, she decided that she was into me too, and she said that that's how she loves to sexually interact with a man first, why not just go for it?

Normally, she'd just tell someone rather than pull that amazing trick, but damn did it work. She read me perfectly lol.

It was a lovely, lucky day :)

[–] gramie 5 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

And that, children, is how I met your mother.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 16 hours ago

Man, if I had been kinky enough, it might have been. She was just so damn awesome. But we just didn't match enough in that way, or in a few life goals.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 16 hours ago

It really was :)