First off, I can't personally cast any stones: I sometimes use chatGPT so summarize a text or help me debug a code. I resisted the idea at first, but many of the other students of my promotion recommended it. Almost any time I asked someone for help, they either told me to use chatGPT or themselves prompted it my question. I try to do without it as much as I can, and I never prompt a queston without having spent several minutes looking for an answer online written by a human, but I have difficulties in several subjects and I've already failed my first semester, so it's not easy to scorn a possible source of help when all else fails... I've installed locally a light weight version of Deepseek on my computer to get some of the benefits with a smaller climate footprint and staying in the Open Source side of the force, but so far I haven't found it satisfactory, perhaps I'll try a heavier version of the model.

But now, it seems you're using it for something way different. You say it dictates what you think, do you have difficulty parsing your own thoughts? I don't think you should feel guilty for it, if you need the help, but I do feel somewhat concerned. Large Language Models only learn and repeat patterns, I don't think it's a good tool for introspection, because it's giving you more generic thoughts and only making it seem personal. It is common for people who enjoy reading to find in the text things they've thought themself without being able to word it and to feel a connection with the author. But in this case, you still know these words are from someone else's mind. You see where the connection starts and where it ends. I think reading helps being good at putting one's thoughts in words, and is healthier than using an llm for it. You should probably also write, even if you keep it for yourself. That way, you'll be certain that these thoughts are your own.