Eh Buddy Hoser

The market went bonkers, it dropped like a rock, Over sixteen hundred points—oh what a shock! It tumbled and fumbled, a slippery slide, Because tariffs were coming—nowhere to hide!

Trump stood tall with a confident grin, Said, “We’re slicing and dicing the trouble within. The U.S. is sick, but surgery’s grand, We’ll heal it with tariffs, just like I planned!”

Ten percent here and much more for some, Especially China—oh boy, did that stun! The EU got whacked, investors all fled, They stared at their screens full of panic and dread.

“The world’s been unfair,” the president cried, “They’ve taken our cookies, our candy, our pride! Then stocks took a dive and the markets darkly turned, And Trump pulled a Nero and golfed while Rome burned.