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You don't. It's complex and subtle and annoying. ๐
You don't turn someone who doesn't love you into some who does. You keep looking until you find a person who was already going to love you. And there are many, even when it doesn't seem like there are. And it takes a maddeningly long time for some folks. It did for me.
What about if you don't want anything too serious?
Nothing wrong with that, but then what is your actual challenge here?
I don't know, that's a good question. How to convey that to the other person, I guess?
It's not clear to me yet what you want: not too serious, but more than friends, so... sex? Not judging, just trying to understand. And maybe you don't know yet.
I mean, I'll take what I can get (short term, long term). As I said I have never had any sort of relationship to speak of so I wouldn't really know. But casual sex would be best for me as things are now.
I suppose I don't understand yet what you expect from a "relationship" that's different from a friendship, so it's hard to offer any advice.
If you want to have sex with someone, it helps to ask. I understand that asking has risks, so you probably want to have some sense that the other person is not going to hit you before you ask. ๐ I don't know how to magically get them to ask you, except for maybe being generally sexually irresistible. That's outside my expertise.
As you learn what you want, it will become easier to look for it and ask for it. Maybe it would help you to think more about what you want for now.
"I am not looking for anything serious."
Yeah, the solution is just using your words.
To answer the title question: they start looking for something serious with someone.