Relationship Advice

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Please help. I lost my boyfriends trust in me (lemm.ee)

submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

17 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Hey guys, so I’m 21F he’s 23M… we have been talking since November and we are dating. We went over other boundaries and stuff and respected each other’s. For the past few months (even before I met him) I was struggling financially as I couldn’t find a job, school, and quit my old job, it was a big mistake and I still have struggles with money even with this part time job (I’m only working 10 hours a week lol)…

Anyways, around a month ish ago, I told him how he feels about a online sugar daddy (no pictures of me or anything, just pretending to care about their day and stuff) as bad as that sounds and morally wrong, the old men offered first via TikTok. And he didn’t say much he said he doesn’t mind as long as there’s no pictures of me being sent to them. So I didn’t think much. I was texting a German guy, he said he’d give me money so I sent him fake nudes and he sent me a dick pic back and I was disgusted. I can’t remember what I replied with. Maybe an emoji and told him I hope this isn’t what he thinks he’s going to pay me back with. He wasn’t serious so I blocked. Around 2 weeks ago, another guy actually sent me money and it was just for talking to him about his day and stuff, this is where my boyfriend told me that he’s uncomfortable with it and I blocked him. When I blocked him, I requested more money the next day via banking cuz I thought why not try to get some more money? He did send some and then I never responded to the email. My boyfriend said that he would be okay with it if someone donated through GoFundMe link in my TikTok bio but not to be texting/receiving attention from males on text and stuff, which I get how he’d feel.

I made a dumb mistake and someone on TikTok said they would send me money, through gofundme, and asked for my Instagram so I thought it would be a quick add, message one time and he would send. He just sent me a dick pic out of nowhere, I said ew and blocked. I felt really guilty for this so I told my boyfriend, and I told him everything at the same time 1.) the Instagram (recent) guy 2.) emailing request for more money after blocking 3.) that the first guy sent me a dick pic too: but I blocked because he did this and didn’t send money either

He is rlly sad, he was crying all night and I feel like a terrible person. He said he knew guys don’t just ask for socials for no reason and stuff and I said sorry because I genuinely didn’t expect a dick photo and I was disgusted. I told him it will never happen again and that I just let the idea of money get to me. He associated it with cheating which made me upset. I get it could be like an online form but I never been through this so I don’t know what to do. I told him everything, he told me how he feels ( he suggested a break) but those never end well. He said he did think of breaking up, like the idea crossed his mind, but that he doesn’t want to end it but wants. A break but now he doesn’t know. I’m really scared.

I don’t want to lose him, he means a lot to me and seeing him like this breaks my heart. How much did I fuck up?😔

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yea I understand. I never sexted anyone. The only one that might have had a light fake flirt here and there was the first guy which i know is still wrong. After me and my boyfriend talked about it, i never ever entertained that way and i just spoke to them about their day and they sent me money. I know the whole “for money” is dumb. I really regret it a lot. I just don’t want it to be over and I will respect whatever decision he makes but i don’t think it will be good :/

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I mean I don't know anything about him, or you. So I don't know what to recommend. Usually, a good strategy is to talk to each other. Say what you were trying to achieve, what you thought would happen and how you felt. How you feel now. I mean the thing with mistakes is, we all make mistakes. And you can't turn back time... You can just try to own your mistakes. Make it clear to your boyfriend whether you learned something... Yeah, and when talking, you both need to listen to each other's feelings. Doesn't really work unless both sides open up.