this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2025
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Relationship Advice

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Please help. I lost my boyfriends trust in me (lemm.ee)
submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
17 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Hey guys, so I’m 21F he’s 23M… we have been talking since November and we are dating. We went over other boundaries and stuff and respected each other’s. For the past few months (even before I met him) I was struggling financially as I couldn’t find a job, school, and quit my old job, it was a big mistake and I still have struggles with money even with this part time job (I’m only working 10 hours a week lol)…

Anyways, around a month ish ago, I told him how he feels about a online sugar daddy (no pictures of me or anything, just pretending to care about their day and stuff) as bad as that sounds and morally wrong, the old men offered first via TikTok. And he didn’t say much he said he doesn’t mind as long as there’s no pictures of me being sent to them. So I didn’t think much. I was texting a German guy, he said he’d give me money so I sent him fake nudes and he sent me a dick pic back and I was disgusted. I can’t remember what I replied with. Maybe an emoji and told him I hope this isn’t what he thinks he’s going to pay me back with. He wasn’t serious so I blocked. Around 2 weeks ago, another guy actually sent me money and it was just for talking to him about his day and stuff, this is where my boyfriend told me that he’s uncomfortable with it and I blocked him. When I blocked him, I requested more money the next day via banking cuz I thought why not try to get some more money? He did send some and then I never responded to the email. My boyfriend said that he would be okay with it if someone donated through GoFundMe link in my TikTok bio but not to be texting/receiving attention from males on text and stuff, which I get how he’d feel.

I made a dumb mistake and someone on TikTok said they would send me money, through gofundme, and asked for my Instagram so I thought it would be a quick add, message one time and he would send. He just sent me a dick pic out of nowhere, I said ew and blocked. I felt really guilty for this so I told my boyfriend, and I told him everything at the same time 1.) the Instagram (recent) guy 2.) emailing request for more money after blocking 3.) that the first guy sent me a dick pic too: but I blocked because he did this and didn’t send money either

He is rlly sad, he was crying all night and I feel like a terrible person. He said he knew guys don’t just ask for socials for no reason and stuff and I said sorry because I genuinely didn’t expect a dick photo and I was disgusted. I told him it will never happen again and that I just let the idea of money get to me. He associated it with cheating which made me upset. I get it could be like an online form but I never been through this so I don’t know what to do. I told him everything, he told me how he feels ( he suggested a break) but those never end well. He said he did think of breaking up, like the idea crossed his mind, but that he doesn’t want to end it but wants. A break but now he doesn’t know. I’m really scared.

I don’t want to lose him, he means a lot to me and seeing him like this breaks my heart. How much did I fuck up?😔

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Thank you so much for replying. I am sending the message using voice. I just want to say that you’re totally right. Me and my boyfriend did establishin the beginning that he didn’t really mind with it too much when it came down to the second time and when the guy actually sent money because he would ask me oh did he send you money yet and then when it came to him actually sending me money is whenhe started telling me he was uncomfortable with it and I was like I talk to him about it and we agreed and I I blocked the guy‘snumber and everything and he said that it would only be OK if they’re sending it through GoFundMe Because it’s more so that they’re donating instead of me trying something to get the money from it. he didn’t like the idea of me another guy attention or receiving attention from someone else and he didn’t like the morality behind it like using someone for money. I feel stupid because I thought the guy from two days ago was gonna send me money through GoFundMe but he asked me for my Instagram first, but I know like this is not an excuse and I told him that and we both discussed how we feel about it. And to answer your question, I feel disgusted about what I did and because I hurt my boyfriend not just because I hurt my boyfriend. Igenerally just felt disgusting because I didn’t communicate any further. I was feeling disgusted even when I gave the guy my Instagram I felt really guilty and I had to tell him as of right now he is very upset. He was crying all night. I feel really bad. I am tryingto make it up to him. It’s gonna be very hard since we are long distance, but he said he really enjoys talking to me and become like a part of this routine and he’s just upset that we’ve talked about this and I still did it but I totally understand like I’m not I have not made one to him because I understand where he’s coming from and I understand how hurt he is and I heard and saw how hurt he was whichis why I feel horrible myself I don’t know how to make it up to him, but I ordered him a promise bracelet with an apology card from Amazon and I’m to secretly like order him food today. I know it’s not anything but I feel like being long distance. It’s at least like a little jester I could do. I’ve never been in this type of life situation. I’ve never had this happen in any of my past relationships, I was at a very lowpoint in my life where I was doing sugar daddies, but I was never like sending them anything of myself. I kind of thought of it as a scam, which why he also didn’t like it, which I get, which is why I’m mad that I gave into it because I am very low on moneythe past couple months due to school and work, but by all means, I will never do it again and I told him that, but I know he won’t trust me to say thatbecause he lost his trust, but I’m gonna try my best but he’s still thinking about what he wants to do and I’m kind of scared that going to call it off. I told him I’m going to respect whatever decision he makes and I’m not gonna I don’t want him to holdback just because he’s afraid of like not having something he’s used to in his life not there anymore so I think he wants to take a small break not like not talk all day but like talk in there during the day, but not as much, but I’m just worried because like he will always think about this, even if we move past the