this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2025
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You can't teach a cat to stay off anything they want to be on, you can only train them to not do it when you're looking, and/or jump away when you catch them at it. Or you can change something about it to make them dislike it, because with cats it's always "what's in it for me?" I love cats, when they choose to be friends with you it's a real choice, not just a pack instinct.
I accept my cats love me because I give them things they like.
I get to nap with a kitten, and the kitten gets a human water bottle.
Although they are independent-minded and capable of living alone, I firmly believe cats appreciate and reciprocate affection. Feral cats often live in groups, and even nurse each other's kittens. You're not just thumbs to your kitty, although I'm never sure which of us is the pet.
I am not her pet, I am her caretaker according to her. I'm here to make sure she's happy, healthy, and cozy, in one of those orders. She likes me! I also know she likes anyone who will get her a treat.
Except my identical twin. My identical twin is very very scary, you see. So scary to little cats.
(The kitten is a dingus)
Your kitty is at least as smart as a human baby, they're scared of identical twins too.
They're WRONG, don't you see!? Don't you smell and hear the clues!? Am I the only one who's not fooled!?
We all have to override our fear of identical twins with logic, but there's a reason for the "evil twin" trope.
Edit: of course, you could be the evil one, but that's okay because every evil villain loves their cat.
No no, neither of us is evil! We shared an imaginary evil triplet though. Easy to not know!
And yes, the kitten is smart. Except when she isn't! She's always a very good cat, the best at being a cat!
My guess is that it's a resource-sharing thing.
So, I think:
I gotta say, it' s not obvious that the human is right...
A cat doesn’t know that it’s paws are probably not the cleanest things to put on the table where people eat.
Just to play cat's advocate: if humans don't think the table is clean when they sit down to eat, they are welcome to wipe it down, to add placemats, or to cover the table between meals. All of these are minor inconveniences compared to the unrealistic expectation of denying cats access to one of the room's main furnishings when it is not in use.
I agree with all your points except that a cat who sees you actually using the table will want to join in! For the attention mostly, but also to do stuff with you.