this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2025
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Men's Liberation

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I'm tired of the lack of intersectionality when it comes to men being hetero and queer (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/mensliberation
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I heard the term "sapphic-coded male" the other day and it hit home in terms of accuracy, and highlighted for me how such a possibility really isn't acknowledged by a part of the left.

There seems to be an association that to be a man you can't value things that women do, or have feminine traits or behaviors, and still be a straight man.

The right is very open about this in a hateful malicious way, the left less so, it's incredibly present in the language used and for more practical examples look at some well known trans women like Contrapoints, Abigail Thorne, and November Kelly. Their ability to present as sexual beings and say suggestive and explicit things is way different as women than it ever was as men.

If a guy openly talk about his love of bondage and kink and just being horny they're either coded as on the right or a creep if they're talking about women (being a thirsty gay guy is ok because they're not straight) but if you're a woman who likes women then culturally it's fine.

To be clear I don't think there's anything wrong with the above individuals and I'm a big fan of all three, which is how this observation came about.

Similarly going on Tumblr or bluesky and seeing posts by women about how they don't get why heterosexual guys don't like cutesy things or behaviors or relationships like bi/gay women do and I want to scream because those guys completely exist and want those things, the division of men into the groups of "stereotypical masc hetero guy" and "gay or non-binary" isn't real and a the left helps perpetuate it by coding heterosexuality as bad or conservative. Also yes I'm saying the left but more accurately mean whatever we're calling the 2025 descendant of Tumblr feminism

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[–] [email protected] -4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I very much identify with this.

So, I'll start by identifying as being homeschooled. I am a fairly attractive guy, I'm also very nice and curtious. I'm open emotionally and try to make everyone feel welcome. When I was younger, I definitely accidentally led on a couple of guys. I thought I was getting invited over because I thought I must be such a cool guy. Turns out he wanted my weiner. I did not oblige him... with all do respect.

I used to go to 80s night at the local gay club all the time. Usually, I always had a good time. I certainly had offers, and that crowd has no shame. But I never had a desire to experiment.

I've always only shown love. It's not my place to judge.

I have my own beliefs about that kinda thing though. It's inadvisable, undesirable, incompatible, intendable, untenable, degrading, disturbing, disgracing, and wrong. Sorry.