Ask Lemmy

I dont agree with the people saying its impossible. It does take time and efford but its not impossible. I know a couple, together for about 10years at the time where he not only cheated but then even broke up to be with the other woman. It didnt last long. After about 2 years the original couple came back together - it was a slow transition of meeting because of the Child, meeting AS friends etc. It was very hard in the beginning. They did a therapy for couples which helped a lot, but still sometimes she would make a comment on the matter even a few years later. But It got less with time. By now its gone. They are one of the happiest couples i know with more trust in each other than i have Seen in other couples. Because it was an active decision to stay AS a couple. Because they had to speak a lot about their relationship after that event and went on doing so, what many couples stop with time. And the therapy surely hepled with that process. I dont know how Bad your case is. If a therapy is needed and how openly you discuss your feelings. But try to signal your wife how much this event showed you that you want her - of course only if the case. And decide together how you can fix things that lead to this event. Maybe do one date per week Where you take time AS a couple. Or one hour per week to discuss how your relationship is going what you liked what you didnt like in the Past week. Sometimes it will only take 10min and sometimes you'll need the hour.... I think something in that direction could help a lot and just proposing it shows your wife you want to change.