this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (9 children)

The ability to get my DnD group to have a sensible, routine schedule, with no cancelations.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

They are always completely distracted and on their phones the whole time.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Had this happen with one dude in college. I had no clue why he joined at all. He spent every session on his phone held 6 inches from his face, and always had to be told when it was his turn in combat, just for him to have no clue who to attack.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

It's unfortunately common, just not necessarily everyone in the group. So, it's the best side effect due to the grounded reality that's suited to the wish.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Your DnD groups are all incredibly hot and sexually uninhibited, but none of them will date you because they can always get great sex, whereas you are the best at being a DM. They also steal any one you want to date because they want you do do nothing but be there for them.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That seems oddly specific and personal.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

Benny Hill did something along these lines.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You DM becomes your literal dungeon master. You're literally chained naked in a basement, forced to play endless games of DND.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

The side effect is intended to be bad.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This irritates your intestines terribly every time you use it, causing you to be the one to have to cancel every time tho, or play the session in agonizing pain and very frequent bathroom trips

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

There sure is a lot of "you poop yourself every time you use it" type responses here.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Everyone wants to play in your games

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Even for a post like this that’s just unrealistic.

But, everyone shows up but their fingers are constantly covered in a thick layer of Cheeto dust.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

But they want to change their character every time.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Their friends and family become trapped in stasis until they complete a campaign, they know you are to blame. You die when the campaign ends.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Tbh this one is a pretty easy one to undo at least. Just give them stupid OP magic items and have the BBEG wonder into camp unarmed.

So this one esentially boils down to "you only play once and your friends are pissed"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Alright, I'll make it a bit more difficult.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Everybody in the group but you suddenly dies.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

Death counts as a cancellation, so that wouldn't work.