this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
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Being a man is eating soup and being able to say "fuck you, I like soup."
And also being so confident, you don't need another man to tell you you're a big strong masculine man.
In college a woman remarked "I don't know many men manly enough to wear a pink shirt."
She hasn't seen rugby players in the south of France.
We need feminism but for men (which is a thing that kinda already exists but we need more)
In my opinion, as a man, feminism is for men. Feminism, at its core, is saying that strict gender roles are made up, and anyone is capable of being anyone. Men had a lot of freedom to do this already, though obviously a lot of things weren't allowed, like homosexuality, playing with other gendered clothing, or "queerness" in general as it used to be called.
A proper understanding of feminism I think would lead us all to recognizing we are free from the shackles of tradition, though the word makes a lot of people think it's only helping women, at the expense of men.
this is a nice way to look at it - but feminism isn't just a vague ideology, it's also a social movement that is designed for women and populated by women. men are at best allies in that space, and at worst viewed as the enemy, othered, and excluded.
i'll gladly id as a feminist ideologically but i'm not foolish enough to think i'd be welcomed with open arms at a feminist rally. tolerated? sure. but not part of the group.
I don't think you're correct, and I've felt welcomed around feminists (though I've never been in explicit feminist spaces). Even if you are though, it doesn't detract from my point. The goals of feminism help men too. If followed to completion, it removes gender roles from being strictly necessary. It allows people to be what they want.
Feminism is part of a larger movement, hence intersectional feminism. Even that though is part of a larger movement of liberalizing society to accept all people for who they are. Yes, there are also some groups who use feminism to exclude other people (TERFs, for example), but usually if people agree women should be allowed in roles normally reserved for men then gender norms aren't real and are necessarily oppressive, for everyone.
nothing that you've said here contradicts my point and you're demonstrating a profound misunderstanding of intersectionalism.
I agree with you. I see that what feminism fights for is good for men too, and lots of the "rank-and-file" of feminism has no issues with men, but if i would ask at a meeting what we could do for men so that they can get out of the patriarchate and feel safe, i'm pretty sure that i would get a lot of blank stares and then an earful.
There are not many groups which work on what a male-centric approach to get rid of the patriarchate might even look like, or what men would need in a system that has gotten rid of the patriarchate so that an equilibrium can be reached (and not patriarchate 2: electric feminism).
yeah this is a great point and it's not even the case that [feminists are uninterested in the issues facing men] because i think a lot of them will agree with fervor that patriarchy is harmful to men and perpetuates the issues they experience.
but shit brother they got enough problems they're trying to solve on their own time. these aren't just upstream issues, they're a separate branch of the same river.
I've been welcomed in feminist spaces. Don't try to take center stage or make it about you and you'll be fine in the vast majority of them.
if you truly believe that, it says more about your own social awareness than it does about the feminist movement.
I don't know if I like soup. The only soup I ever had was cambells, and it was awful. But then everybody tells me that cambells is the bottom of the barrel scum of the soup world.
So maybe I just don't like cambells.
Hey, you're like me. I HATED soup for decades. Can soup BS was disgusting. Soup on the side of my burger, gross.
Then I went to a real soup place. Like all they did was soup. Like professional level soup that's $8 a cup or $12 a bowl.
My god - it was incredible. I now understand the Soup Nazi bit of why anybody would tolerate that behavior.
I went from clean shaven anti-souper to a god damn soup coke fiend.
Campbell's classic chicken noodle hits different when you're recovering from a bout of norovirus.
But generally yes, canned soup is pretty bad. There's a ton of soups across most global cuisines, so many so that it's borderline unbelievable that you've never tried a single one.
And soup is so easy to make from scratch, it seems feeble to open a can. But yeah, OK, if you're sick, that's another thing.