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Making friends in adulthood (beehaw.org)

submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Is it really harder to find true, meaningful friendships (not romantic and/or sexual) in more 'adult' years or is this an introverts problem? I am quite introverted at first, I would never just start a friendly conversation with a stranger and work friends usually are just work friends. I moved to UK in 2019 and since then I had few different jobs and connected with people from work, but none of them wanted to stay in touch outside work. I was a bit confused, as I thought those people enjoyed my company as much I did theirs. Not even sure if this is maybe a cultural thing? I grew up in Poland and Eastern European people are more direct than British, so you know straight away of they like you or not. What are your experiences? How do you deal with meeting new people?

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

It helps to get a hobby that involves other people. I've met lots of friendly people playing board games, and the hobby gives you something natural to talk about.

It is a little funny though. A lot of the time people give that as advice to meet women. I'm a man, and when I got into a hobby that interested me, it was 90% men that I met! It's anecdotal, sure, but many of the women I have met were coming with their SOs. Still, it's been fun, but I wonder what hobby I need to get into to meet all the women.

I may finally break down and get an account on Bumble or something. My work is male-dominated for various reasons I have little influence over, I don't want to start going to church (though I could probably tolerate the local Unitarian Universalist congregation), and I don't like to drink either, so bars are out. I'm exjw with JW family, so family matchmaking is out. I might not have many other options, though honestly I don't feel like I need to be in a relationship either, so I suppose I can wait.