this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2025
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small lil "being-triggered" vent
So my cousin got engaged over the weekend, she found herself a top notch bloke and she's a star herself so perfect combo.I'm not jealous of that, I don't care about being married or not and it isn't important to me in any way - deep or superficial. I'm envious of how her mum is so happy and proud and keeps gushing about her - I just know that my dad just wouldn't talk about me like that, and my mum isn't in my life and she isn't the type to care about my accomplishments either. I'm sad that no matter what I do, what I accomplish, or big (to me) achievements, I don't have a parent who would talk about me like that, so proud and open about being proud.
I'm so happy for my cousin, she's a fantastic person and has been through so much - she deserves this happiness and her mum to gush about her. I feel bad for being triggered by my aunt's love for her daughter - I guess I still have a long way to go to reconcile not having a parent be so openly loving to and about me.
Just needed to get this out into the world, I can't talk to my family about this, especially not now, and my partner doesn't really get it as his parents are wonderful. I'm sorry.
Sometimes when I read or watch shows where people have happy, supportive parents, I actually can't help but cry because how different might life be if I was encouraged instead of shut down?
So, I totally understand how you feel. And it's one of those both things can be true situations: you can be so happy for your cousin, but you can also envy her. I've spent years in therapy thanks to my parents, but the truth is, it'll always be a little wound somewhere on me that opens it. I'm just better at treating it now.
I know this sounds like tripe, but we love you! We're proud of you! Too many of us in here understand! We gotcha back!