this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2025
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I worry with the "trust your gut" thing. When you're wary be wary, but preexisting prejudices can and do influence this and do need to be examined and challenged. Noping out of a situation is always ok, and if force to do so is needed to have your demands to step away respected that's what it takes, but a gut feeling is not evidence of danger, but a suspicion of it and that distinction is crucial.
Trusting your gut as evidence of danger sometimes ends in tragedy as this incident shows. This woman was visiting El Paso, saw road signs for Mexico (El Paso and Ciudad Juarez share a metropolitan area), thought she was being kidnapped, and killed her driver.
We currently live in an era of high fear and social distrust alongside low crime rates.
Quick question: How many times do tragedies like the one you linked occur? How many times do tragedies occur because women were not paying attention to that inner voice saying "this guy is a creep"?
I have no idea and I'm not saying to ignore that voice, I'm urging people to remember that when dealing with "this guy's a creep" feelings thats a gut feeling, not evidence that he's done anything actually wrong. I still remove myself from those situations too. I give strange men berth on the sidewalk and if they're speaking to themselves I adjust my route to avoid them. I rarely respond to strange men who speak to me even. But I keep in mind that my fear of someone doesn't indicate wrongdoing on their part.
The fear of women in privileged classes is used as justification for violence against members of marginalized groups. Here's a JSTOR link to a 2002 paper on it in racial contexts. Straight and cis women's fear is used to discriminate against gay and trans women.
Calls for people to remember proportionality in fear responses are intersectionally valuable. So, if you are scared, remove yourself from the situation with escalating force if needed, but I will again reiterate the need to remember that our gut feelings are not evidence that someone did anything wrong or had any intent to. If they try to stop you from leaving, that is something wrong that they're doing, if they follow you as you flee, thats something wrong they're doing.
Well, yes. Don't start with gunfire.
But that's pretty much not an issue in most of the world. Most people don't open up with gunfire. That's a problem in a very, very, very small number of nations on the planet.
Yep there's a world of difference between "I'm gonna exit" and shooting someone in the head. Plus we only have her word that's what happened, he can't tell us