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I’m just going from my experience running comms and watching the sub growth. Some people do come, but I find the rate slows down compared to a successful post directly on the comm.
I think both of you have valid experiences. Not everyone uses social media the same way. From switching from being a lurker to being a poster, it's gotten me to focus more on how people interact with content. I operate more like QuadratureSufer to find smaller creators, but plenty are going to do as you've seen of just subbing a few big groups and letting content trickle up to them. They'll get the real popular stuff, but may miss things people subbing to the source will get to enjoy.
Ultimately both are valid approaches, but if nothing ever gets crossposted up to the big subs, that's just less eyes possible on the small subs for people that dont browse way down /All. Posting something from a big comm down to a small one doesn't seem beneficial since why would one interact with it on the small comm when there will be less commenting going on there? That's my personal thoughts at least.