Ripples of Understanding

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Language matters--the words we use, and the way we relate to others changes the world. We are a community trying to make the world better by learning new ways to hear and see each other. We are 1 part philosophy, 1 part science, and 1 part kindness.

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canadaduane

What's the best advice you've been given for your relationship with your spouse/partner? (self.listening)

submitted 2 years ago by canadaduane to c/listening

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My father-in-law told us both when we were married: "Remember that sometimes you will be a friend to one another, and other times you will be a parent. Everyone needs to cry like a child sometimes."

Do you have any advice that you've been given that helped you be a better partner?

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[–] canadaduane 2 points 2 years ago

I like your perspective. I agree there is a "repair and maintain" aspect to a good, lifelong relationship, and that we're fragile ("one accident away" as you say), and so we need each other.

I guess I'm exploring the expectations going into a relationship more than the sustaining of a long-term relationship.

I have a neighbor and friend who recently left his wife after keeping another relationship secret. I fear he is only going to find more of the same dissatisfaction in his next relationship, because there are aspects to his personality and values that he can't get away from, and I'm fairly positive these will show up in the new relationship. If he expects the new relationship to fulfill the brokenness he feels, I'm not sure it's a strong foundation upon which to enter into a new relationship.