Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/mnv411994 on 2023-07-02 09:50:20+00:00.

I (29M) recently went to my friend’s (28M) birthday party. For the sake of simplicity, I’ll call him Luke. I met Luke in college and we have been fairly close friends ever since. I wouldn’t say he’s my closest friend, but we’re close enough to where he invited me to his birthday party.

He knows a decent bit about my history, but i really don’t like to talk about my past that much. I won’t get into the details but i do suffer from PTSD and used to cope with drugs. To put the entire story into a super oversimplified sentence: my dad is a dick and I used to have a coke problem. However, I can say that I am now completely sober and have been for a year. Luke doesn’t know all the details of my past, but he does know that i used to be an addict.

I hadn’t had any close calls for a while until last night when i went to Luke’s birthday party. I was told it would be a “small hangout” but when arrived, it was a party. probably 30-40 people at the peak, loud music, and enough alcohol to feed a village. Luke was always the type of guy who liked parties, so this wasn’t a huge shock. Everything was fine for the first part of the night, That was until i saw out of the corner of my eye, some people, including Luke, sitting around a table doing lines. The whole party was starting to gravitate in that direction, and i could tell that this was about to become the sole focus of the rest of the night.

Now i want to clarify, i have no issue if those people want to partake in that. Do whatever you want, it’s your funeral. What i did have a problem with, was my “friend”, inviting me to his party knowing damn well that there was going to be drugs and that I was a recovering addict. I had managed to stay clean for so long, and it was literally a few feet away from me. This was my worst nightmare.

I blew up at him, I pulled him to the side and screamed at how stupid he was and how shitty it was of him to do this to his supposed “friend.” My screaming drew the attention of a lot of the crowd and Luke looked horribly embarrassed, but i stormed out before he could respond to me.

I went home, and went to bed, but when I woke up i had a catalogue of texts from Luke saying how he didn’t think it would have mattered to me because i had been sober for so long, and that regardless it was out of line for me to explode like that because it “ruined his birthday.” He keeps saying that if i didn’t like it, i “should have just left and not made my addiction everyone else’s problem.”

to me, it felt like a huge violation of trust. I had confided in him that i had drug problems and he failed to consider me or even warn me beforehand that this would be happening at his party. I haven’t responded to anything he has said yet but I am still absolutely pissed at him.

so, AITA for yelling at my friend at his birthday party?

Edit: someone advised me to add this- Luke is the one who brought the coke. I saw him pull it out of his own backpack and pass it around the table.