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Do you ever feel like you're chained down by your past - things you can't let go of, things you wish you could still do? (kbin.social)

submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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And like there's this person that you were, and this person that you are going to be, and the person you are now doesn't know how much you need to get rid of past you to make room for future you. And you feel overwhelmed in this decision and become paralyzed, not actually moving forward with the conscious decisions of what to let go, and things start to fall away but you don't know if those are the right things.

I've just feeling like that for a while. I know there are things I need to let go of, but when I try to do it, it causes me great anxiety and I stop. I'm just wondering if anyone else ever feels the same.

Thanks for listening.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Yup, there's a part of me that can't let go of the old version of me. It's as if I don't want to abandon that person because once I do, then they're gone forever, and no one else has ever gotten to really know them. It feels like a loop of grief, anxiety, and regret.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago (3 children)

This is the feeling. I have one more thing in the loop tho - spark of reform: like okay, let’s do something about it. It fits in right before anxiety.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Agreed. There's also a thought experiment I think of a lot with regards to this feeling. It's about the Ship of Theseus: a mythical ship that last centuries but with all its parts and crew replaced over the years, for maintenance. Once everything has been replaced, is it still the "Ship of Theseus"?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That opens a whole existential can of worms - what makes me me, what am I outside of these things, what do I want?

I need to figure out my core being, but how do I do that?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

I genuinely don't know. Personally, I vacillate between thinking of myself as a continuum (past-present-future me are all linked together and so I exist throughout time as the whole collective), or "I" don't really exist (I've always been different moment to moment, so there's no real me, so what really matters is focusing on what's happening right here, right now).

Granted, a lot of the time I'm just anxious and I'm not really thinking about it philosophically. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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