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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Purple-Entry-6332 on 2024-01-18 17:55:15+00:00.
My wife and I are in our sixties, we are thinking of retiring soon and we are trying to get our finances and everything we own in order. For example we're finally selling our old house because it's too big and we don't need it, we want to live in a quieter place and a smaller house.
We have three kids, all adults by now. Each of our kids have their own kids as well. We have a daughter with one kid, a son with two and another son with two biological kids and a stepdaughter.
Our youngest son was married, about ten or so years ago he cheated on his wife and they got divorced. He cheated with his current wife, then he adopted her daughter.
We want to divide our state between our children and our grandchildren. We had a family gathering to talk about some of these things, especially the house in case any of our children wanted to buy it themselves.
Our son got very angry when he heard that we're cutting off his adopted child from the will. We told him she's not our family and we don't support his life choices and how he ruined his family. He told us to stop holding a grudge for something that happened years ago and accept the child, or cut him and his family off. My wife and I think that his new wife and the child are living proof of him ruining his family. Do you think we are wrong in this? She is a child and he's right that she's "his", but does that automatically makes her our family? He said we're treating his wife and daughter poorly and we're acting like assholes towards a kid.
The step daughter and the adopted daughter are the same girl. My son married her mother and then adopted her.
Questions:
The girl was 1 or 2 years old when my son and his mother started their relationship.
We don't see or talk to each other often, only in family gatherings. They live in another state. She doesn't call us her grandparents.
What each of our kids is getting are family heirlooms and not money. All the money will be distributed between our grandkids in our will to hopefully help them get their education paid.
My son doesn't have contact with his ex wife or his biological kids, he cut them off and didn't even want to pay child support. My wife and I helped our daughter in law and our grandchildren.