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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/TruckAndTruffle on 2024-01-19 00:16:26+00:00.
I (21f) currently share a house with my stepmom and half sister Carrie (11f). My dad passed a couple years ago and he left the house to both me and my sister so since my college is under an hour drive away I live at home. My stepmom and I split the bills 50/50 but buy our own groceries.
My stepmom has been in my life since I was 8 (my mom passed when I was 3). She is OK but rather old-fashioned. She is very strict on how boys and girls shouldn’t be too close (no, she is not religious; this is more of her personal values). Carrie is very sheltered and has never been to any sleepover when there was a boy involved or participated in any traditionally boy-dominated activity. All her life Carrie’s doctor has been one of her female distant cousins on my stepmom’s side as my stepmom feels uneasy with her daughter having a male doctor.
Carrie’s a sweet kid and although we’re not close because of our age gap we do love each other. My stepmom, fortunately, has never tried to restrict what I do. My mom’s family is very liberal and are active in my life.
I have a boyfriend Matt (25m) who’s in med school. Several days ago my stepmom asked me to watch Carrie while she visited a friend and I said OK. My boyfriend on his rare down time stopped by to hang out and we just chilled and had snacks in the living room.
Carrie came to us and asked to talk about her period. I asked her if she would like to only talk to me but she said she didn’t mind. I then explained all I knew but when she asked the more medical info I kinda turned to Matt and he stepped in and helped. Carrie actually asked a lot of questions that required Matt’s med school knowledge like hormones, how they will affect her growth, what symptoms she should watch out for, those kinds of things. She even asked about birth controls and STDs and again Matt really helped with the explanation. We searched for videos on the internet to help explain a few issues as well. In all, Matt and I thought it was an excellent afternoon. Carrie was more informed and confident by the end of it.
Later, my stepmom learned that Matt gave Carrie “the talk” and she blew up. She said she didn’t doubt Matt’s knowledge but it was wildly inappropriate for me to let Carrie talk about this topic with a man when I know how she felt. She said a man, no matter his credentials, doesn’t deserve to know her daughter’s most private info like that. She said she planned to have Carrie’s doctor give her the talk anyway. I said it was fine and I was also there but she simply said she’s Carrie’s mother and next time I plan to do something like this I need to inform her first and she will decide if Carrie can take part in it or not.
I mean, she IS Carrie’s mother so I wonder if I overstepped and should have told Carrie to wait to ask her mom instead? AITA?