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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AITAflowersthrowaway on 2024-01-18 16:48:50+00:00.
My (33M) girlfriend (28F) have been together for almost 4 years, but only began living together just over a year ago. Before that we were long distance and I used to send her flowers for special occasions and sometimes just because. I often spent a good deal of money on a dozen roses. She was very grateful and would say how when she looked at them it reminded her of me and made her smile. It might be worth noting she never brought me flowers, but that didn't bother me as its a bit of a girly thing (no judgement or whatever, but honestly I could care less about flowers).
Anyway, now to the issue at hand. Since living together I haven't brought her flowers - honestly I hadn't really thought to, because I'm right here in the same flat and so she doesn't need a reminder of me. Well just before Christmas she brought a Christmas flower arrangement, which I figured was just part of decorating for christmas. Early January she threw it out, and in its place appeared another vase of flowers, which I didn't say anything about because she was not working (she's a private school teacher and was off for their Christmas holidays) and I figured she's just bored. But I guess they died and now there's another vase of flowers in its place, and this time it's a dozen roses!
I asked her what was up with the roses, and she said she likes flowers and that as I never buy her them anymore she has decided to get them for herself. I didn't say anything at the time but this has really got to me questioning her. It seems really passive aggressive to go out and buy roses for yourself just to make a point (literally identical to the arrangements I brought for her!). And now every time I walk into the kitchen I am hit with how shitty a boyfriend she thinks I am.
Edit: I appreciate the comments, even though some of them were hard to swallow.
It seems the jury is split, I’m either an unloving asshole because I've overlooked an obvious hint to gift my girlfriend flowers and make her happy, or I’m a self-absorbed asshole and her purchasing flowers isn't anything to do with me. Either way though, it seems like I’m an asshole.