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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway2011306 on 2024-01-18 21:34:48+00:00.
This is gonna be a little complicated, but Im really conflicted.
Last week I went for a walk with some of my friends at night. We wanted to clear our heads and have a nice talk together. We actively didnt invite some of our other friends since we knew they wouldnt want to come or were asleep. So we kinda just roamed around the neighborhood.
We had the idea to show up at one of our friends houses. Jokingly, I took a photo of their house number with the caption "we are gonna get you" to let them know we are here.
Normally, this friend is more on the joking side, making fun of everything, but also can be quite weird sometimes. Weird in ways of them accusing me of mental abuse and ghosting me for months after I sent them a photo of me and some others partying, even though we have been like besties the previous weeks (and they could have come along too).
To my surprise, they didnt take the joke well. Some time later, they thanked me for telling everyone where they live and making them panic. I responded way later, as the notification didnt pop up and apologized. Though I told them that 1st, everyone knew already their location because we are, like, friends, and 2nd, if they really did panic, they could have called me asking if we are serious or not.
I was kinda taken aback. I was expecting them telling us something like "get lost" in a joking manner, or waving out of the window and thats it. Not panicking about us, breaking in? Throwing stones? Staying there for the whole night? I dont know what they were expecting.
They later told me I've crossed a boundary, resulting in a sleepless night. If I had known, I would never have done that. But again, they could have called me for reassurance. Though they responded with "well I thought you were drinking" because I didnt see the notification and a friend of us asked if we were drinking, to which another one responded with "yep".
If we had been friends for about a year or so, I'd understand that they wouldnt notice the sarcasm or have issues trusting me. But we've been friends for 7+ years, some of them they were even in love with me. And I made it clear enough that I never drink, ever. Still, they had no trust in me nor our other friends, one of them also against drinking. We are normal people, living our life without partying often or causing scenes. They are supposed to know that by now, or so I thought.
So why would they not trust us and think of the worst case scenario, without asking if we are for real?
Our friendship is over because of this, and they said some really nasty things, some of them contradicting each other. They seem like a mess mentally, and had I known it was such a big deal, I would never have done that. Some of my closest friends think they are overreacting and having, again, one of their emotional bursts.
Still, I'm trying to understand their point of view. AITA?
(In the unlikely case this gets more attention, please dont repost)