this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2024
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwawayhey1234567i on 2024-01-18 21:37:31+00:00.


Throwaway acc!

My twin sister (25f) and I (25f) have been hashing it out lately and I just want to bring this to the internet to settle this. We will call her Abby.

I was recently formally diagnosed with Autism, about a year after I had been self diagnosed.

Lately, Abby has been saying that I attribute too many things about myself and my personality to being autistic, and this bothers her. She even said, "You would attribute the direction you wipe your ass in to being autistic." This statement really hurt me, so I told her.

Abby said that the statement wasn't rude, and also that it is true. I asked Abby to tell me the DSM-5 criteria for diagnosing Autism, to make sure she knew that I was attributing my actions to specific traits detailed in autism research. She couldn't give me the main traits listed.

I asked Abby for examples on which actions she thinks I shouldn't be attributing to my condition. She said she couldn't come up with any examples

I am going to list a few examples below of things I personally attribute to me being autistic:

  • The lights in the kitchen are really bright and bother me.
  • Sometimes, Abby sings really loudly, or our mom talks really loudly on the phone and that hurts my ears.
  • I don't like to make eye contact.
  • I always talk about my special interests (social justice, astronomy, biology, music, Animal Crossing).
  • I click my fingers a lot and mess with my nails.
  • I repeat a lot of phrases throughout the day (verbal stims).
  • I have a different processing time from other people (this may have something to do with how much brain connectivity autistics could have) so it might take a little longer to emotionally process stuff.
  • I have difficulty getting things done because of issues with executive functioning.
  • I tend to communicate directly instead of indirectly.

That's really all I can come up with.

Overall, I just don't understand why she cares so much, enough to say something so disrespectful to me. AITA?

TLDR: My sister told me that I attribute everything to autism, including the direction I wipe myself after going to the bathroom. Am I right to be upset about how she talks about my condition?

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