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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/InnerAd1183 on 2024-01-21 22:37:59+00:00.
Throwaway account and all names are changed.
Hi everyone. I'm in a bit of a situation and was hoping for some advice. I (30F) recently got married to my wonderful husband Larry (33M), and our wedding went perfectly except for one thing. Larry has two older siblings: Candace (38F) and Orlando (40M), and he's very close to them. He also has several cousins, most of whom he likes. He has a cousin, Susan (38F), who's married to Gabriel (39M). Larry thinks that Susan has undiagnosed autism due to her difficulties in social situations and inability to maintain eye contact. Candace and Orlando agree with this assessment. Apparently she was never diagnosed because her younger brother Brad, 35M, had high-maintenance ADHD that required a lot of their parents' attention when they were younger, so Susan didn't get as much attention. I'd met Susan once at a large family function before our wedding and she was very nice, but I didn't get a chance to know her better because there were so many people. Brad is super nice as well, and I've gotten to know him better because he and his wife live closer to us. Brad also thinks that Susan might have autism.
Anyway, when Larry and I were doing seat arrangements for our wedding, we ended up with several tables that only had two spots available, so we had to split up larger parties. We put Brad and his wife at a table with other cousins their age, as Larry thought Brad would get along with everyone better. We put Susan and Gabriel at a table with older relatives, as Larry thought Susan would be more comfortable there.
Throughout the reception, Brad and his wife had a great time socializing, whereas Susan didn't. Every time she'd try to go socialize with them, the other cousins would be polite but would talk around her about things that didn't include her, so she felt left out. Susan and Gabriel eventually just left the reception halfway through the evening, but no one noticed her absence for several hours. It wasn't until we were doing final photos at the end of the evening that someone thought to look for Susan, couldn't find her, and then texted her to ask her where she'd gone. She simply said that she and Gabriel had left earlier. Everyone got upset that she didn't tell anyone she'd left, and Larry was mad that she ruined our final photos by disappearing.
Here's where I might be TA: I texted Susan that it was no wonder everyone thought she had autism when she acted like this. She responded by blocking everyone's phone numbers and has been off the grid since then. Now Brad is saying that I'm TA for 'outing' our opinions of her when we could've just kept it quiet, but I was upset that Susan had caused such a fuss at my wedding. AITA?