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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/GovernmentHuge5717 on 2024-01-22 11:36:52+00:00.
Wife (31) seemed distant a few weeks ago and was raising some red flags as I’ve (32) been in these situations before and it never turned out well.
We’ve been together 8 years and married for two. We have had some ups and downs and now have a small family together. Let’s get to the point; she had a co worker she used to work with occasionally text her, I’ve seen the name come up and I would ask who that was as I’ve never heard of them. I was usually met with “just a friend” or something like that. This last time I seen her had texted her she acted defensive when I asked again and said hastily and angry like “he’s a friend who’s gay and has a boyfriend “. Mind you it had been a few months since I inquired. I needed to borrow her phone to make a call for some tech support as I was having issues with my device, I decided to snoop out of curiosity. I had seen that she deleted the messages and looked in the recently deleted and recovered them. Scrolling back I noticed that he always would bring her lunch at work and then they would also go out to places after work which I had never had any known of. A few years ago before were married, we broke up for a short time, when we reconsiled she told him about how she was pregnant with my kid and that we had worked out. His reply was “I hope that doesn’t change our relationship “
Maybe I’m over analyzing but when I confronted her on it she lost her shit at me, understandably so as I had looked at her messages. But I wanted to be sure. She had been to his house at least once, but I it was to sell something. She ended up cutting him off after everything, claiming I wouldn’t let her have friends, infect it’s the opposite, I want her to have friends. The big thing is that if you’re going out with another dude and I don’t know about it, what does that look like to me? If I did that with one of my female friends or had a similar instance, I would be the bad guy. sorry this is a damn novel, but I keep thinking about what it is. We haven’t had sex in three years aside from one time that was good and a few where she just does it to shut me up and clearly doesn’t enjoy it. So I stop and give up. Yeah I get child birth is difficult, but for 3 years? Am I wrong for wanting to be intimate with who I love?