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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/teeth_faerie on 2024-01-22 14:51:32+00:00.
I (18F) go to college about 30 minutes from my house, not my first choice but it is what it is. My friends and I go out to shows almost every weekend and I love it, I have never been part of a “group” like this and as a result, I experience a lot of anxiety if/when they ever hang out without me. This Friday is my dad’s birthday and it coincides with a show my friends and I have been really excited about for over a week. I don’t like going home in general, I come from a bit of a toxic home environment and, without getting too far into it, being at college has felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I have classes on Friday so I know there’s no way I could go home to visit my dad and still make it to the show on time. I went to my mom’s birthday earlier in the year because I didn’t have anything going on, there was a long plan in advance and, frankly, I’m just closer with my mom (of course I’d never tell them that).
I am considering asking him if we could celebrate another day, like after my classes on Thursday or during the day on Saturday. I don’t plan on abandoning him completely. My reasoning is that most kids going to college out of state do not feel obligated to go back and visit their parents every two weeks, so it’s unfair that I should have to. I know this might sound a bit selfish, but I’m honestly not sure if this would make me a certified asshole. WIBTA?