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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Conscious_Mirror6276 on 2024-01-22 15:20:38+00:00.
I (26F) and my partner of 8 years (30M) both come from middle class backgrounds. We have made the decision to spend the rest of our lives together and we spend hours talking about how our lives are going to look like in the future. We usually talk about our finances, housing situation and things that go along after marriage. We have started investing together as well in some SIPs.
He is doing well for himself and loves to buy things for himself and those around him. He goes on shopping sprees and spend a good chunk of money, which sometimes I find too much. I have pointed this out to him, and he says it’s okay for me to tell him to stop when he is spending too much on things he doesn’t need.
However, one thing that I particularly don’t like is when he spends on other people without thinking. A little background on his family: He has 2 sisters, one of them is married and her husband is well off who does better than my husband. The other sister is unmarried but she has a good job and does well for herself as well.
My partner spends on expensive gifts like designer bags, clothes, latest tech gadgets and gives them to his sisters on multiple occasions every 3rd month. Every time they go out (my partner, his sisters and the brother in law) it’s my partner who picks up the tab every time. (I am not sure how adamant they are to pay the bill, but I know that my partner thinks it’s his responsibility to pay). He has even given the unmarried sister his credit card so she can order whatever she can, whenever she wants. The married sister gets these gifts on every occasion. Recently he bought her a very expensive phone on her birthday.
In our culture, it’s important for the brother to give gifts and money to the married sister on festivals, birthdays etc but I believe he tends to overboard. I don’t mind the gifts, but I believe that it sets out back financially every time he goes overboard.
A little background on me: I have a great job that I enjoy and to get married to him I would have to leave my job and move to a small city with no job prospects, whatsoever. He is doing well for himself and he works really hard but I believe that we need to seriously start saving up for ourselves and our future and spending all that money elsewhere will only set us back in our financial goals.
I have tried talking to him but he says that it’s his responsibility to take care of his sisters and everyone in the family to the best of his abilities. He thinks it is not a big deal but to me it is. I have stopped bringing this up because I don’t want him to think I have an issue with him spending on his sisters but it still bothers me every time.
Am I wrong in any way?