This is an automated archive.
The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ifeelhorribleplzhelp on 2024-01-22 23:04:32+00:00.
I (27F, lesbian) am a grad student. There's a girl in my department, Natalya, who I'm not really friends with, but who has on more than one occasion, while tipsy at a party or get together, confided in me about how horribly her boyfriend treats her. During winter break at a uni party, she told me she was scared that he might escalate, and that she has nowhere to go because she moved cities for him and didn't know anybody. I gave her my address and told her that even though we don't know each other that well, she can always come crash on my couch if she feels the need, no questions asked, and that I'd help her to the best of my ability.
She ended up doing just that this saturday. Showed up with a backpack full of clothes and told me she was scared to go back home. I made us something to eat and sat down with her to try and figure out what steps she wanted to take next, she complimented the food and I told her I couldn't take the credit because it's my girlfriend's recipe. She asked if I meant girlfriend as in dating, I said yes, and she took her bag and got up. Said I should've told her I liked girls, and that she would have never come if she knew that, then told me it looks like I'm trying to take advantage of her, and that she wouldn't have come if I was a man, so me being a lesbian was the same thing.
She left, and I honestly don't really know how to feel about it. She sent me a text afterwards to reitirate that my deception was really messed up, and that she felt preyed on. I've never mentioned my gf to her because I never spoke that much to her to begin with, I don't think she even knows my last name. We don't see each other much and the only time we'd talk is at parties when she'd seek me out to vent for some reason. Not only am I not interested in her, I have a girlfriend I've been in a loving relationship with for two years and who I intended to move in with once our leases are up. My gf is on my side, but my best friend kind of agrees with Natalya that I'm in the wong. I don't ever want to make someone uncomfortable, so I'd genuinely like to know if what I did was wrong so I could apologize and never do it again, AITA ?